Life Makeover for the Year 2010 Archives from week 6- Cheryl Richardson

Week 6 – End Procrastination: How to follow through

 

Topic of the Week
End Procrastination

This week I completed a new card deck called “My Daily Affirmations” that will be available at the end of the summer. It’s a deck that inspires you to work with affirmations every day that support meaningful relationships, prosperity, vibrant health, creating a soulful environment, and much more.

To finish the deck, I used a tried-and-true process that works. (It’s great for overcoming procrastination). Whether you need to complete your taxes, a college application, or writing a book, here are six steps that will help you to succeed:

1. Set a deadline. Deadlines are your ticket to freedom. Contrary to what most people think, a deadline can decrease stress by motivating you to act. Our anxiety about completing a project is usually related to inaction and this anxiety uses an enormous amount of energy. Once you have a deadline in place, it releases this energy and allows you to put it to good use. Set a deadline and let it inspire you to get started now.

2. Use “positive pressure.” Left to our own devices many of us will push back a deadline, especially when it relates to those projects that cause us discomfort. Just look at how many people procrastinate about getting their taxes done :). By asking someone to hold you accountable in a supportive way you put “positive pressure” on yourself to make your project a priority. Be sure to choose someone who has your best interest at heart and ask him or her to gently check in with you to be sure you’re on track. Also, make plans to celebrate together once you reach the finish line.

3. Set a start date. Once you have a project, a deadline, and someone to hold you accountable, you’re ready to set a formal start date. Setting a time to begin a project gives you a chance to prepare. For example, if you have a deadline to complete your taxes by April 1st, choose a start date of March 1st. Then you’ll have a chance to clear your schedule, get forms and resources in place, and line up the help you might need before you get into trouble. Too often we plunge into a project without a plan and end up getting stuck or frustrated. Give yourself time to prepare so you can start with confidence.

4. Set boundaries. Think of this step as casting a wide net around you and your project so you’re protected while you work. For example, if you need to complete a report for your job, you’ll want to schedule uninterrupted time in your office. This might require a “do not disturb” sign on the door, a conversation with co-workers about needing space, and a willingness to shut the ringer off on the phone or avoid email until you’re done. Ask yourself: “What boundaries do I need to put in place in order to have the emotional and physical space I need to get this project finished?”

5. Take frequent breaks. In the past when I’ve coached clients to complete a tough project, they often start with a “push through to the end” mentality. For example, they’re willing to work ridiculous hours at the expense of their lives. While this might get the current project finished, it forms a negative relationship to project completion which only fuels procrastination in the future. You’ll want to create a positive relationship by taking frequent breaks. For example, when I’m writing, I stop every hour to do something unrelated to the book. This gives my body (and mind) a chance to rest and it allows me to return with a fresh set of eyes. Give yourself a break and enjoy the process.

6. Know your payoff. When the project is done how will your life be improved? What’s the benefit of completion? For example, I know from my experience as a tax consultant that people feel a tremendous sense of relief when their taxes are finished. There are many benefits to completing a project – the satisfaction of a job well done, the peace of mind that comes from no longer beating ourselves up for not acting, or the actual benefits like a tax refund, an organized room to enjoy, or reduced debt. Identify three benefits you’ll receive from completing your project, put them in writing, and keep them in view.

Life is full of projects, so why not learn to make peace with the process? This week, choose a project and follow the recap in our “Take Action Challenge” below

Take Action Challenge

Print out the following winning formula. Then, choose a project that needs to be completed and apply these steps:

1. Set a deadline
2. Use positive pressure
3. Set a start date
4. Put boundaries in place
5. Plan for frequent breaks
6. Identify the benefits and keep them in view

Week 7 – The Pleasure Path: Turn yourself back on

 

Topic of the Week
The Pleasure Path

Last Friday night I had the pleasure – and I do mean pleasure – of attending an introductory talk at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts in NYC. Chris Northrup has raved about this program and I finally decided to check it out. Boy am I glad I did (thanks Chris!). If you want to reclaim your power through the path of pleasure (and who the heck wouldn’t?), then you’ll want to check out the school

So imagine this: I’m sitting next to my friend Nancy. We’re both wearing pink boas around our necks. We’re in a room with 300 fellow Sister Goddesses (Mama Gena’s name for the women who come to her programs) who are also wearing pink boas, and I’m feeling a little nervous (ok, maybe more than a little nervous ☺).

The pounding music starts. The back doors fly open. And in comes Mama Gena – a great-looking woman in a hot pink, skin-tight dress and stiletto heels – being carried in the air by three hot-looking guys. And so the evening begins…

Mama Gena challenged women to step up and own their power by taking the path of pleasure rather than pain. She taught women to brag, to tell the truth about their fantasies and desires, and to stop leveling the playing field by bitching about what wasn’t working in their lives.

Throughout the evening, we laughed, we cried, we roared, and we danced. We heard the sensational stories of women who have reinvented their lives – women who found passionate love, who healed their angry hearts with pleasure, who unearthed the courage to leave dead-end jobs to finally start businesses they’d been dreaming about for years. These were women of all ages who were brave enough to connect with and breathe life into their desires.

And desire is what it’s all about. Mama Gena is dedicated to inspiring and supporting women to give voice and action to the hidden longings that have gone unattended in their lives. Now that’s my kind of woman!

Here’s a taste of what we learned during the evening:

• Turn Yourself On. If you want to lead a wildly successful, passionate life, you need to do things that turn up the juice in your life. And while sex is part of it, there are things you can do in the wide-open spaces of your day, too. You can take frequent dance breaks to get your energy pumping, wear a pink boa (it works), or brag about what’s great in your life to the people who have enough self-esteem and personal power to welcome it.
• Delve Into Desire. If you want to feel fully alive, you have to connect with and stay connected to your deepest longings. Make a desire list and keep it handy. Don’t buy into the initial temptation to brush this exercise off with, “I’m too exhausted,” or “I haven’t a clue.” Push past the part of you that resists change and make a list. Trust me, if you give them a chance, your desires will come flying out of your hand onto paper, like a herd of wild horses ready to gallop into the next, exciting stage of your life.
• Share Your Desires. Tell the people who care about you what you want more of in your life. When you do, do it with enthusiasm and excitement. And keep doing it. The more energy you give to your desires, the quicker they start to materialize.
• Keep Good Company. Put yourself in the company of other brave and adventurous people who are unwilling to settle for anything less than a passion-filled life. Mama Gena’s Mastery Program is a good start.

Finally, the next time you’re pissed off, frustrated, feeling stuck, or ready to scream, try something new. Look for the “path of pleasure.” Yup, rather than ignore the problem, struggle to find a solution alone, or complain to friends about how bad life is, do something pleasurable instead. Ready to ship your teenagers off to a faraway land? Get into a hot tub. Yelling at your partner for not picking up after himself (or herself)? Start singing your favorite love song and see what happens.

Sometimes the best step of all is the one we are least inclined to take. This week it’s all about pleasure!

Happy Valentine’s Day ☺

 

Take Action Challenge

When things feel overwhelming, stressful, or stuck, ask yourself a new question: “What pleasurable thing could I do right this minute to turn myself on, so I can turn this situation around?”

Then do it…

Week 8 – Move Forward: Three ways to get unstuck

 

Topic of the Week
Move Forward

This week, while I’m on vacation, I thought I’d rerun a newsletter about getting unstuck. If you’re feeling immobilized in an area of your life – relationships, career, finances, a creative project, or while trying to accomplish an important goal, this info should help. Here’s what to do:

First of all, it’s important to remember that the thing you need to do most in preparation for getting unstuck is the opposite of what most people do – you need to stop beating yourself up. Yup, that means being kind to yourself in spite of your stuckness. It means accepting your feelings of hopelessness so you can stop using so much precious energy trying to push these feelings away. And it means embracing the total you – the person with good intentions, the one who takes action now and then, and the one who keeps tripping you up. The message is simple: Don’t resist your stuckness – it only keeps you stuck :).

Once you embrace your situation, you’re ready for three behavior changes:

1. Take back your power. One of the biggest mistakes we make when feeling stuck is telling ourselves that our inability to move forward is due solely to outside circumstances – a lack of money, too many problems, or the influence of other people, for example. All of us will be faced with real-life challenges. That’s a fact. But our place of power always lies in the recognition that we have choices. They may be tough choices like selling a home to relieve financial pressure or walking away from an abusive relationship to reclaim our self-esteem, but never mistake tough choices with having no choice at all. You always have choices.

2. Manage your mind. Feeling stuck is first and foremost fueled by our state of mind – the thoughts we think from moment to moment. When we feel unmotivated, it’s because we’re thinking unmotivated thoughts. When we feel trapped, it’s because we consistently tell ourselves that there are no options. When we feel hopeless, there’s a good chance that the mantra running through our mind is something like: “Why bother?” So, the key to turning this self-defeating habit around is to take control of your thoughts. Easier said than done, I know. Rather than offer an elaborate process for doing so, try this simple technique. For one whole week, take a tip from my sister Michelle who instills the following message in her kids, and repeat this phrase throughout the day:

I CAN DO ANYTHING!

Regardless of whether or not you believe it or whether it seems rational, do it anyway. Say it to yourself when you first wake up, repeat it in your mind while brushing your teeth, sing it to yourself while driving to work or getting the kids ready for school. Then, keep at it through lunch and dinner, all the way up to when you fall asleep. Just keep telling yourself that you can do anything and notice how your mood and perspective shifts.

3. Keep good company. Every successful person I’ve ever spent time with has surrounded themselves with highly motivated people. As a matter of fact, just this morning as I watched Queen Latifah on The Actor’s Studio talk about how to stay motivated while building an acting career, her first response was just that, “Surround yourself with motivated people who are just as committed as you.”
People who feel stuck tend to associate with people who like to commiserate about the unfairness of the world. This is a recipe for disaster – you all stay stuck together. Find people who are up to something big and who feel excited about life and spend your time with them. If you don’t have anyone, consider joining or starting a Life Makeover Group. It’s free and it’s a great way to meet like-minded new friends

Finally, if you’re really ready to move forward, get help. Remember that any anxiety you feel about being stuck is simply related to inaction. The first step toward getting unstuck is making a move. Hate your job? Contact a recruiter or job counselor today and find out how to start a job change. Faced with financial pressure? Call your accountant, financial planner, or credit counseling service and ask for help in putting a recovery plan in place. Are you going to fail along the way? Of course. Will you lose motivation now and then? You can bet on it. But the key is to get started. Getting unstuck is only one tiny step away from where you are right this minute. All you need to do is move your feet :)

 

Take Action Challenge

1. Choose one area of your life that you’d like to change and identify three choices you do have available to you right now. If you can’t come up with any, ask someone for help.

2. Create a new screensaver that marches the words “I CAN DO ANYTHING!” across your screen. If you’re not sure how to do this, let your first step be requesting help from someone who knows how (try a teenager).

3. Pick up the phone and schedule lunch, dinner, tea, or a catch-up conversation with a highly motivated friend who will support you in your quest for positive change. Ask him or her for help in creating a 5-step plan of action.

Good Luck!

Link: http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-8-move-forward-three-ways-to-get-unstuck/

Week 9 – Acceptance: Learn to go with the flow

 Topic of the Week
Acceptance

I returned home from vacation on Thursday morning of last week and that evening we had a rainstorm with hurricane force winds that left our town a mess. We’ve been without power, phones, heat, and water for three days (a minor problem when you consider what the people of Chile are going through). So, rather than write a newsletter this week, I’ll be doing laundry and cleaning out the fridge ☺.
I did want to share a message from a community member who wrote to me in response to a past newsletter about finding peace during uncertain times. It was an old horoscope and it’s come in quite handy this week. Thanks, Lee!
Here’s hoping it’s a helpful reminder for you, too…
“If you are on a train, will you reach your destination quicker by running up and down the corridors? Some processes just need to take as long as they need to take. That’s not easy when you feel a burning desire to get them over with as quickly as possible. Yet that’s actually all the more reason to make sure that you don’t waste your energy. Even if it means incurring the disapproval of people who do not understand, you need to pull back a little and pace yourself this month. Focus on what can be done, and become less agitated about whatever, for now, cannot be altered.”

 

Take Action Challenge

If the above passage resonates with you, you might want to print it out and keep it nearby. Taking a few moments to read it when you feel impatient or frustrated may be just the remedy you need to return to center.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-9-acceptance-learn-to-go-with-the-flow/

Week 10 – Embrace Conflict: Hold the tension of the opposites

Topic of the Week
Embrace Conflict

It’s a beautiful, spring-like day here in the Northeast and it feels good to be home enjoying the sun and warmth. Michael and I returned from Paris last week after a business trip that gave us the opportunity to visit places like the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, and the Basilica of the Sacred Heart of Jesus Church. The beauty and grandeur of Paris is beyond words.

During our vacation I was struck by a feeling I often experience when I travel – conflict. While I enjoyed the sights and sounds of Paris and the magical experiences we encountered, I also missed the beauty and comfort of our home (and, of course, our cat, Poupon). The feelings for both were equally strong.

Several times during the week I had to stop and re-center myself in the present moment to take full advantage of our time in Paris. When I did, I found myself recalling a message I heard long ago from a teacher who has had a profound influence on my life and my work. Her name is Marion Woodman and she used to tell us that wholeness comes from learning to “hold the tension of the opposites.”

We live in a world of duality. There’s daylight and nighttime, summer and winter, good and evil. It’s the nature of living as a human being on earth to deal with the tension of opposites. And yet, navigating the complex feelings that come from holding this tension can be stressful and challenging at best. You interview for a new job, for example, and find yourself anxiously waiting to hear how you did while knowing that at the same time you need to be patient and detached from the outcome. Or, you try to be a good parent by encouraging your son to go out into the world to live a full, rich life, while everything inside you begs to hold tight to keep him safe.

How do we hold the tension of the opposites and still thrive and enjoy our lives? What can we do to make this experience less stressful? Here are a few things that helped me:

Give voice to your feelings. As I grappled with mixed emotions during the trip, I felt alone and a little crazy. After all, here I was in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and part of me wanted to be home. It didn’t make sense. But, once I stopped suffering in silence and shared my thoughts with Michael, I discovered that he felt it, too. Sharing my feelings and knowing I wasn’t alone immediately made me feel better.

Honor the opposites. Rather than judge one side as better or worse than the other, give both parts of you equal consideration. I spent some time by myself writing about the traveler in me who was thoroughly enjoying seeing new places, meeting new people, and having new adventures. And I also wrote about the other part that loved our home, missed Poupon, and wanted the comfort and peace of familiar routines. What I soon discovered was that giving time and space to both parts of me made me feel stronger and more capable of being with the tension.

Strengthen your ability to hold both. Once I felt stronger, I had a glimpse of what Marion was talking about when she said that “wholeness” comes from holding the tension of the opposites. Rather than try to exorcise or ignore my uncomfortable feelings, I needed to see the choice to be with both as a kind of “inner training session.” As I centered myself in the tension, I imagined weaving parts of me together into a stronger, more mature woman. By doing this I was developing an emotional muscle that would ultimately allow me to bring more of who I am to the world.

I hope this makes sense. As is often the case, I’m working it out as I write. I know I’m not alone, though. We’re all faced with the task of living with opposing feelings and experiences. It’s what we do with it that matters most. My intention is to master the art of holding myself in the beauty and possibility of the in-between world. And I invite you to join me ☺.

Take Action Challenge

This week, identify an inner conflict that reflects two different parts of you. Then, talk to someone about it. Share your feelings and experiences. Give time and attention to both parts by writing about them in a journal or notebook. Finally, find an image that reflects the strength of holding the tension and allow this image to inspire you to stay steady and strong.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-10-embrace-conflict-hold-the-tension-of-the-opposites/

Week 11 – Energizing Thoughts: Put your energy to good use

Topic of the Week

Energizing Thoughts

I’ve just finished teaching our San Francisco Movers and Shakers program and was inspired to send the following newsletter after witnessing a powerful moment between Louise Hay and a workshop participant. One woman came up to the microphone for some coaching and started with the following: “I am a terrible procrastinator.” No sooner were the words out of her mouth, when Louise stood up and said: “That’s an affirmation!” In the spirit of that important message, please use the following story and message to change your life ☺.

Last week I was enjoying some time to myself at a local park when I overheard a conversation between two women who were talking about how frustrated they were with their jobs. They were sitting close by and, after a half hour of trying to mind my own business, I decided to head home. As I drove away, I thought about how much time and energy they were investing in the problem by repeating the details of their situations over and over again. And, I thought about how I’ve done the same thing in my own life — energized the very thing I didn’t want to continue by repeatedly complaining about it.

When you consider the notion that our thoughts have creative power, complaining about something without doing anything to change it, takes on a whole new meaning. While talking about our problems is a normal (and important) way of working through the difficulties in life, fixating on them can end up magnetizing the very thing we most want to avoid. When we complain, ruminate, whine, moan or gossip about what isn’t working in our lives, we may find that the problem persists or even shows up in a whole new form.
That said, there’s gold to be found in the act of complaining and worrying about our problems. Just think about the strategy behind what you do. For example, if you’re worried about money (and who isn’t nowadays), you might:

• Continuously think about what you don’t have, your debt, or upcoming bills.
• Talk with others about how bad the economy is or how it’s going to get worse.
• Write about your fears in a journal.
• Go to sleep at night imagining worse-case scenarios in your mind.
• Pray about the problem.

Again, these are all useful ways to process the challenges we face in life, but when we get stuck on these behaviors alone without adding positive actions, we contribute to the problem. Now, imagine what might happen if you used these same strategies to your advantage. To bring more abundance into your life, you could:

• Continuously think about what you do have by noticing the little things that make you happy right now.
• Start looking for and sharing the stories of abundance that show up in your life.
• Begin each day by writing down fifteen things you feel grateful for.
• Go to sleep at night imagining yourself living debt free or enjoying a new, higher-paying job.
• Pray for the discipline and strength to focus on the good in your life and the ability to receive the abundance that’s coming your way.

These examples represent the fundamental steps of attraction. You think about it, talk about it, write about it, meditate on it, pray about it, or imagine best-case scenarios. I’ve been practicing the idea of attraction in one form or another for the last twenty-five years and these are the things that I do (along with making treasure maps :). As you begin to use these steps to turn things around, please keep in mind three important things I’ve learned over time:
1. Simply thinking about something you want to bring into your life isn’t enough. You need to combine thought with action and be willing to do the work.
2. Making the shift from “me” to “we” is where the law of attraction really becomes powerful. My greatest joy (and success) comes in sharing my good fortune with others.
3. We must surrender to the reality that there is a power greater than our humanness at work in the world and we can’t always get what we want. Some things just aren’t meant to be.
So, when you think about your life and what you’re energizing every day, does it make you smile or is it time to make a shift?

Take Action Challenge

Choose one thing you’ve been worried about (or complaining about) and put those remarkable practical strategies to good use. Turn it around by focusing your energy on the possibilities of what could be instead of the reality of what is right now. Whether or not you believe it can work doesn’t matter. Isn’t that great? ☺

Week 12 – Stick to It: Learn the art of persistence

 

Topic of the Week
Stick to It

In last week’s newsletter, I shared the video of a young man who mastered the art of riding a bicycle just about anywhere – over the tops of fences or on bridge railings. It was an amazing example of mastery and it reminded me of a prior newsletter I’d written about squirrels and the genius of persistence. If you need a little motivation to stay true to a dream or goal, or to master something new, you might want to take a page from squirrels ☺.

Outside my office window I have two bird feeders that attract all kinds of birds. One is designed for small birds like yellow finches, and the other is for larger birds like cardinals and blue jays. The feeders also attract squirrels. In the past, before they invented squirrel-proof cages, I had an interesting time trying to keep them from cleaning us out of food.

The first time I saw a squirrel climb the pole to the feeder and eat to its heart’s content, I knocked on the window to scare him away only to find him back two minutes later having a feast. Then, I came up with what I thought was an ingenious solution. I greased the bird feeder pole with cooking oil and the next time a squirrel tried to climb the pole, I smiled to myself as he gently slid to the ground. After three or four attempts, he scampered away, but of course, came back with a vengeance and quickly figured out how to climb the pole!

Squirrels are very persistent little creatures. They do whatever it takes to achieve their goal. When squirrel-proof cages finally became available, I was sure this new device would do the trick. And it did for several weeks. Time and again I’d watch the squirrel climb up to the feeder, try every which way to get at the food, and when he couldn’t succeed, run off to a new yard. Then, one morning, as I sat in my office watching the birds, a squirrel ran to the pole, climbed to the top of the protected feeder, hung upside down above it, and gingerly shook the feeder until birdseed fell to the ground. Once he served himself enough food, he ran down the pole and sat below the feeder to enjoy his meal. That’s when I decided that if he was that persistent (and clever), he deserved the darn food!

There are times in life when we set our sights on something that’s deeply important to us yet, when we hit roadblocks, setbacks, or failure, we make a premature decision to give up. The message this week is simple – if you know in your heart that your goal is right, be persistent. Hang in there and be willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. If one approach doesn’t work, circle around the situation, and look for a new way of achieving your goal. To help you gain a fresh perspective, try this:

1. Imagine that you’ve already achieved the goal. Then, look back from this perspective and notice what you did. Don’t over think your answers, just write down whatever comes to mind. You’re looking for strategies or ideas that may not have occurred to you yet.

2. Imagine that you’re just one step away from achieving success. From this perspective, ask yourself, “What one word best describes the step I need to take next?” Trust your subconscious to give you an answer and again, write down what comes to mind.

When I used this exercise with a friend who was ready to quit nursing school, the word that occurred to her was “tutor.” When we explored this word further, she admitted that there was one class, in particular, that made her feel anxious and inadequate. This exercise helped her to see that she needed help to get through the class.

3. If someone offered you a thousand dollars to take three outrageous steps toward your goal, what three steps would you take? Again, don’t over think or censor your answers. Just notice what comes to mind and write it down. Even though your answers may seem unrealistic, I’ve found that when clients answer this question, they often come up with ways to try a new approach.

Of course there are times when quitting is the right thing to do, but before you give up, make sure you discuss your situation with someone who believes in you. Do they see something you don’t? Is there a step they suggest you take before you quit?

Finally, make sure that you’re not giving up out of fear or frustration. It’s not uncommon to be faced with the greatest challenges at the point when we’re about to reach the finish line. Send yourself a free e-self-care card with the message “Hang in There” from here and let it remind you to do what it takes to stay true to your soul’s desire.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-12-stick-to-it-learn-the-art-of-persistence/

Week 13 – Own Your Power: Challenge your fear of success

Topic of the Week

Own Your Power

Once again the tabloid media has taken to plastering their covers with a celebrity who, at the height of her career, has been taken down by a personal tragedy in the form of betrayal by her husband. My heart goes out to Sandra Bullock as she navigates the complicated waters of a broken marriage while having her personal life splayed out for all to see. I can only imagine the hell she’s living in.

Each time I see a public person knocked off the proverbial pedestal either by his or her own undoing or by someone else, I see the writing on the collective subconscious wall: “You better not get too big for your britches or we’ll take you down.” While it seems some need to come down in order to stop hurting people, others become the poster child for our collective fear of success.

As I watched Sandra Bullock’s public embarrassment after winning the Oscar, I thought, “Great, here’s another chance to reinforce the belief that it’s not safe to step into the light and own our gifts.” It makes me crazy because it doesn’t serve anyone. Each of us has a boogieman (or woman) who keeps us in line by reminding us to tone down our brightness, to take one step back and stay with the pack, or to keep our flaws handy in case we need to pull one out to prove that we’re a card-carrying member of the “fit in” club.

For some, the voice of the boogieman is loud, constant, and demanding in its request to stay small enough to keep others comfortable. For others – most people actually – the voice is subtle and sneaky, and equally pervasive and debilitating. We end up playing by its rules to keep ourselves safe and, as a result, miss out on fully living our lives. You get close to want you really want, for example, and sabotage your efforts because it feels too risky. You find an excuse to avoid making the phone call that just might land you a great job. You eat one more candy bar to stay comfortably numb so you don’t have to confront the brazen friend who made fun of your latest creative idea. Or, you tow the line with family members by putting yourself down and leveling the playing field so you don’t ignite the sarcastic comments or guilt-inducing statements that warn: “Don’t you dare leave the tribe by being more successful than us.”

If I were a betting woman, I’d put money on the fact that Sandra Bullock probably started worrying about a bomb dropping on her life when the first award nomination was announced. You know the drill. Things are going a little too well and immediately you start waiting for the next shoe to drop. You pull back, shrink inward, and maybe even start slipping up just enough to steer clear of being too successful.

Here’s the thing: Eventually the other shoe will drop. That’s the way life works here on planet earth. In a world of duality there will always be an eventual downside to every up. Someone you love will get sick right after you receive an offer to start a great new business. A friend might betray you just before your wedding day. Or, you’ll be pulled from a promotion because someone more qualified showed up at the last minute.

The real issue is what you do with what happens, not the drama around the details. After all, our safety net (and the ability to maintain our power) comes from the investment we make in our own healing journey. How will you grow from the downside? What character traits will you develop? What old wounds will you finally face and heal? The answers to these questions (and the work you do to address them) are the insurance you purchase with your hard work. This insurance gives you the courage to express your greatness in spite of what happens or what others think.

So this week, I challenge you to do something to support humanity’s goodness instead of the drama. First, send love to Sandra Bullock and anyone else who’s struggling with the pain of an unexpected blow. I don’t know about you, but when I saw The Blind Side, both Bullock, and the woman she portrayed, left me inspired to be an even better human being. That’s what full-on greatness does.

Next, challenge the legacy of smallness that hurts us all by keeping your money away from the magazine issues that profit from someone’s pain. Then, start owning your power. Toot your own horn. Speak confidently and skillfully about your accomplishments at your next job interview. Set a firm boundary the next time someone tries to keep you in line with his or her own fear and insecurity. Be brave, bold, and willing to risk getting knocked around a bit (metaphorically speaking) to stay true to your strengths and talents. I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to piss a few people off or to weather a few storms to insure that I’m honoring my soul. I may go out with a few chipped teeth, but you can be sure I’ll go out smiling ☺.

Take Action Challenge

This week, watch for your tendency to shy away from expressing your full power. Notice what you do to level the playing field with others. What do you say? How do you act? What do you end up thinking about yourself? 

Week 14 – Spring Cleaning: Make room for something new

Topic of the Week
Spring Cleaning

As we enter spring here in the Northeast, it seems like a great time for a “Clean Up Week” to motivate you to purge, clean, or organize your space so you can welcome in new beginnings. So this week, here are four ways to do just that…

1. Recycle – Go through old magazines, books, or catalogs and get rid of them. Bring the magazines to a doctor’s office, hair salon, or health club. Fill the recycling bin with outdated catalogs. Donate books to your local library or church for an upcoming sale. There are plenty of organizations that take used books. For example, we have gotbooks.com here in Mass., and they’ll pick them up from your home or office. To find an organization near you, all you need to do is put “book giveaway + your town and state” in Google for ideas.

2. Trade Treasures – Years ago my girlfriends and I would gather for a give-away party where we’d bring clothes, jewelry, household items, etc., to trade with one another. Each of us would always find a treasure in someone else’s lot and we made it a fun social gathering to boot! Get together with moms and dads from the neighborhood, coworkers, or use your
Life Makeover Group to organize a “Trade Treasures” party.

3. Donate – This is a great time to go through clothes or household items with an eye for sharing the wealth with those in need. We all have things that we no longer use that could be life changing for someone else. Your old suits or dresses could give someone a new outfit for a job interview. Your used washing machine may be a blessing in a family’s life. By the way, we’ve had several community members write to say that when they donate used clothes they put a Grace Card or Self-Care Card in the pocket as a surprise gift for the person who gets it. I love that idea and will be doing it myself.

4. Release Old Energy – Go through the files in your office or your contact list and let go of outdated resources, information, or old ideas. I’ve used this strategy for years to release the old energy tied to plans that fell through, goals that lost steam, or dreams that fizzled out because they needed to. Make the space for new business, great opportunities, or more creative ideas that make sense for who you are now.

A little spring cleaning goes a long way in making space for something great to enter your life. Consider this week’s “Take Action Challenge” and enjoy a renewed sense of spaciousness and mental freedom!

Take Action Challenge

If there is something new you’d like to attract – a new job, romance, friend, more money, or clients – you’ll need to make space. Choose one idea from above and work on it this week. Then, watch what shows up!

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-14-spring-cleaning-make-room-for-something-new/

Week 15 – Buttons Pushed: What to do when you’re feeling crazy

 

Topic of the Week
Buttons Pushed

Last week I had a conversation with a good friend who shared a smart (and effective) exercise she uses to re-center herself when she gets her buttons pushed. As I listened to her describe the process, I knew I had to share it with you.

The next time you get your buttons pushed and you find yourself fixated on a negative experience, in the middle of a shame attack, or ruminating about something that’s upset you, try this. Take out four pieces of paper and put one of the following four sentence stems on the top of each sheet:

1. I know I’m acting in alignment with my Highest Self when I…

2. The things that knock me out of alignment are…

3. When I’m out of alignment, the behaviors I engage in are…

4. The best actions for me to take to get back in line with my Highest Self are…

Once you have each sentence stem listed on a separate piece of paper, set aside twenty minutes to do a “mind dump” for each category. List lots of examples for each one. What do you do when you’re at your best? How do you think? What actions do you take? What kinds of situations knock you off track? And then, what habits or behaviors do you engage in that keep you off track and feeling stuck? Finally, what do you do that helps you to re-center so you can get back in alignment with your Highest Self?

I intended to give you examples for each category but, after doing the exercise myself, I discovered that it’s better not to have any preconceived ideas. They interfere with the process. So, let yourself go, write down whatever thoughts or ideas come to mind, and when you’re done, I’m sure you’ll learn something valuable about yourself. I know I did. I’ll give you a way to share your experience in this week’s Take Action Challenge. Have fun!

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-15-buttons-pushed-what-to-do-when-youre-feeling-crazy/

Week 16 – Realignment: Find the one action that does it all

Topic of the Week
Realignment

Last week I shared an exercise you can use when you get your buttons pushed (or to re-center yourself when you feel off track). . This week I want to focus on the last part of the exercise – the final sentence stem to be completed:

The best actions for me to take to get back in alignment with my Highest Self are…

The ideas generated by this sentence stem are the most important of all. Think about it. When you know exactly (and specifically) what you need to do to return to a productive and healthy state of mind, you increase your chances of behaving in self-affirming ways. When this happens, life gets better – quickly. You eat better; you make nourishing rest a priority; you become truthful in your relationships; you feel confident enough to ask directly for what you want or need; and you create a state of balance in your life that supports your emotional and physical wellbeing. Sounds good to me!

Here are some examples we received from our Facebook Fan Page last week.

When you feel out of alignment with your Highest Self, you could:

Stop, close your eyes, and take ten deep breaths
Move your body immediately
Write one page about how you feel in a journal
List ten things you feel grateful for
Help someone in need
Pet or play with your cat or dog
Take a nap
Listen to inspirational music
Pray
Write down ten positive affirmations
Find something to laugh at
Read something inspirational
Meditate
Make a cup of tea and take a time out
Get out into nature
Have a good cry

Once you have several ideas of what you might do, it’s time to take this exercise one step further. Think about this: If you had to choose ONE powerful action that will always realign you with your Highest Self, what one action would it be?

It’s a coach’s job to challenge clients to think outside the box. The idea that you can identify or create one specific action to turn your life around in a matter of minutes is the kind of challenge I love to take on. I’m working on my action today.

Now it’s your turn. Complete the Take Action Challenge below and see what happens this week!

Week 17 – Movers & Shakers: Messages to change you and the world

 

Topic of the Week

Movers & Shakers

I’ve just finished teaching our third Movers & Shakers workshop with Reid Tracy, President of Hay House Publishing, and it was a life-changing weekend for all of us. Before I head home, I thought I’d stop and share some of the wisdom we taught to a diverse audience of change agents. Here are ten messages. Find one that speaks to you!

1. It takes ten years to be an overnight success.
2. The most competent people often feel the most insecure when starting something new.
3. Frustration and impatience are often clues that something new is trying to be born.
4. Develop sensitivity to how you come across to others so you become very, very attractive (in the magnetic sort of way ☺).
5. Be sure your professional image projects the essence of who you are. Think: “a well-groomed and polished you!”
6. Don’t let your current success strangle you and stop you from pursuing your next evolutionary step.
7. Become a star in your own backyard.
8. Commit to being of service first. In all your interactions keep the mantra, “How can I help you?” firmly rooted in your mind.
9. Don’t let overanalyzing, future planning, or what-ifs, get in the way of taking action.
10. When you own your gifts you set yourself free to change the world.

 

Take Action Challenge

Choose the one message that speaks to you the most, cut and paste it into a document, and print it out. Then hang it in your office and let it inspire you to grow ☺.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-17-movers-shakers-messages-to-change-you-and-the-world/

Week 18 – Let Go: How to handle a dry spell

Topic of the Week

Let Go

This newsletter was written a few years ago and I pulled it out this week for a caller who dialed into my radio show to talk about her frustration with a job search process.  She was doing all the right things and yet nothing was happening.  Once I confirmed that her search approach was on track, I explained the importance of understanding a “dry spell.”  I hope this message speaks to you as well…

A dry spell is a period of time when progress comes to a grinding halt.  If you’re trying to lose weight, for example, it may be that, despite your best efforts, the scale just won’t budge.  Or, if you’re trying to find a new job, the phone might stop ringing and it may suddenly feel as though no one is hiring in your field.  During this period, you’re likely to feel frustrated and discouraged.  And, as a result, it’s common to do one of two things – try harder (to no avail) or give up.  This is also the time when self-doubt rears its annoying head.

During a dry spell, you’ll probably begin to question yourself and your goals.  For example, if you’re involved in a job search, you might start second-guessing your credentials, doubting your skills, or questioning your job search strategies altogether.  Or, if you’re trying to lose weight, you may lose your motivation and go back to the erroneous belief that your stalled progress is related to a lack of discipline.  The biggest challenge during a dry spell is to be patient – to sit back, take a deep breath, reevaluate the situation, and know that despite what appears to be “the end of the road,” over the horizon is a path that will lead where you most need to go.

Sometimes a dry spell is simply a challenge to maintain faith.  We need to trust that all is happening as it should even when we can’t yet see results.  Other times it may be that we need to loosen our grip and let go of the past – an old habit, an outdated belief, or a strategy that doesn’t serve us anymore.  Sometimes this letting go is more tangible like ending an unsupportive relationship to set the stage for becoming the “new you.”  And other times it might be that you need to let go of an unrealistic expectation.  I remember one friend who realized this when she reached a weight loss plateau and had to give up the fantasy that her body would ever look like something out of a fashion magazine.

The moral of this story is:  Don’t lose hope!  A dry spell may be exactly what you need to re-evaluate your progress so you can redirect the course of your life. To help you use a dry spell as a catalyst for success, answer the following question:

What do I need to let go of in order to welcome in the new life I desire?

Then, pay attention to what immediately comes to mind.  Listen with your heart (not your head) and write down the answers regardless of how strange or unexpected they may be.  Once you do, sit with this information for a while before taking action.  Then, proceed with a patient heart.  When you understand that dry spells are merely speed bumps on the road to a great life, you’ll begin to see them as gifts – a reminder to slow down so you can get your bearings, reevaluate your plans, and slowly shed the old you to make way for the new!

Week 19 – Self-Care Club: Ten things every member should know

Topic of the Week

Self-Care Club

I’ve just arrived home from Omega where I taught a Mother’s Day weekend retreat about developing the qualities and habits of an extraordinary mother.   We had a terrific group of women and this week I’d like to share ten pieces of wisdom from our time together.  Here we go…
1.  The healthy habit that feels most like a luxury needs to become a daily necessity.
2.  Never check email first thing in the morning.
3.  Don’t beat around the bush.  Be brave enough to ask for what you want directly.
4.  Resting may be the most productive thing you do.
5.  Never underestimate the power of getting a full night of sleep – every night.
6.  “Every thought you think and every word you say is an affirmation for your future.”
This quote is from Louise Hay, the master of affirmations.  She launches a new book this week called “Experience Your Good Now!“  We used it during the retreat and it’s a must read for every person who is wise enough to use affirmations.
7. Embrace your resistance to change while remaining open to new possibilities.
8.  “Puttering” is a valid act of extreme self-care.
9.  Stop robbing others of their responsibilities.
10. Be a creator not a responder.
Happy Mother’s Day to all those who share their time, energy, love, and nurturing care with all living beings!

Week 21 – Affirm Your Life: Get into the driver’s seat

Topic of the Week

Affirm Your Life

Read the following quote from Louise Hay:

“Every thought you think and every word you say is an affirmation for your future.”

Now think about.  Really think about it.  If each of us spent one entire day noticing our thoughts and words, chances are we’d be a little concerned about the future we’re creating.  For most people, negative thinking and talking is a way of life.  But not anymore, thanks to Louise Hay.

Louise has just published a new book called, Experience Your Good Now: Learning to Use Affirmations.  It contains everything you need to know – and I mean everything – about developing an affirmation practice, so I won’t go into details here.  She’s the master of this process and I suggest you buy the book, study it from cover to cover, and listen to the CD (that comes with the book) every night for a minimum of thirty days.  When you do, you’ll discover the following benefits and so much more…
                                                       

• Starting and finishing your day with affirmations sets up a tone of self-care that permeates every area of your life.
• You train your mind to look for what’s good and you end up drawing more good toward you.
• You feel better emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
• You stay focused on the specific areas of your life that most need your attention and they improve.
• You begin to see evidence that your thoughts really do have power.
• You develop an unbendable faith in the power of your thoughts to direct the course of your life.  As a result, you no longer feel like a victim to outside forces.  You remember who’s in the driver’s seat.
• You become much nicer to be around ☺.

Two years ago I stepped up my commitment to use affirmations by spending my mornings writing, reading, and imagining them coming to life.  It’s made an enormous difference in the quality of each day and I know it will for you, too.  So, to help you get started, here are a few of my favorites…
My life is a constant stream of miracles.
Abundance flows into my life in surprising and miraculous ways every day.
I love my home and my home loves me.
I enjoy a passionate, loving, kind, and co-creative relationship with the people who matter most.
I feel God’s presence in my life every moment of every day.
Now it’s your turn.  Check out Louise’s book, here.  It’s the best ten dollars you’ll spend ☺.

Take Action Challenge

Start by creating five specific affirmations that either affirm what you want more of in your life or what you want less of.  Then, write, read, and repeat them throughout the day.

 http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-21-affirm-your-life-get-into-the-drivers-seat/

Week 22 – Doors Opening: Self-love strategies that work

Topic of the Week

Doors Opening

I’ve just finished the “I Can Do It” conference here in Toronto and, before I go to bed, I wanted to share some of my notes with you from an extraordinary documentary that was shown at lunch today.  The movie was called, Doors Opening, and it’s the story of the work Louise Hay did with men who were suffering with AIDS in the mid eighties.  During a time when most people literally shunned these men, Louise welcomed them into her home and her heart, and taught them how to heal.  The film is a moving example of the power of love – both self love and the selfless love of a woman committed to being of service.  Here are several things Louise suggests we do in order to love ourselves more:

• First, stop all criticism toward yourself and others.  Just stop it.  When you catch yourself being mean to yourself, intervene on your behalf by putting an end to the behavior (thoughts, words, or actions) immediately.
• Stop scaring yourself.  The moment you realize that you’re thinking thoughts that are making you feel anxious or afraid, switch your focus to something positive – a peaceful image, a memory that makes you happy, or a person who is a source of comfort or joy.
• Be patient, gentle and kind with yourself – always.
• Praise yourself.  Start to notice what’s great about you, what you do well, or how wonderful you are, and make a point of acknowledging yourself and these strengths on a regular basis.
• Support yourself and your healing.  Ask someone you trust to join you in making positive changes.  Commit to specific actions every week and then hold each other accountable.
• Fuel your body with healthy food and with exercise that you enjoy.

Finally, and most important of all, Louise shared an exercise that she’s done for years to build a stronger relationship with herself.  It’s called mirror work.  She encourages people to look into a mirror several times a day and say things like, “I love you.  I really, really love you.” While this step might seem simplistic, awkward, or even silly, it’s worked for her and the millions of people who have changed their lives as a result of following her lead.  It’s made a big difference in my life, too.
I’ve never met someone who didn’t need more self-love and I hope you’ll put some of these suggestions to work for you this week.  The world needs more people who are kind-hearted, self-loving, and compassionate.  Let it begin with you!

Take Action Challenge

Choose one action from the list above and start practicing it this week.  Remember, positive change happens when we decide to do life differently.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-22-doors-opening-self-love-strategies-that-work/

Week 23 – The Outsider: Celebrate your uniqueness

Topic of the Week

The Outsider

This week I’m writing to you from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, where I’m about to set sail on our first Movers & Shakers cruise to the Caribbean.  As I looked through past newsletters for one to republish, I found this piece I had written on my return from teaching the Writer’s Workshop on my very first cruise.  I hope it speaks to you this week…
The cruise was wonderful.  It was my maiden voyage on a large ship and I have to admit that I had reservations.  But, once we were out on the open ocean I knew things would be just fine.  Give me fresh air, sunshine, good friends, and an up-close-and-personal connection to the sea, and I’m a happy gal.
I love teaching and was thrilled to have a class full of sincere and purposeful writers who were excited and hungry to learn about the journey of book publishing.  There are always important moments during an intensive workshop that highlight a universal theme.  One of our moments occurred halfway through the class when a brave woman shared that the subject of her book was a departure from the more traditional life she grew up in.  The thought of publishing her work for the world to see ignited the pain she felt as an outsider in her family – the unconventional one in a world of convention.  Her honesty and vulnerability touched us all and gave me a chance to talk about what I see as the benefit of being the outsider.
In all my years of speaking and teaching, I’ve found that those who are most successful at living true and meaningful lives generally come from backgrounds where they don’t fit in.  There’s a good chance you know what I mean.  You may have felt like an odd duck in your family, a flower in a garden of vegetables at work, or the one person who seemed to be dropped into the middle of school by alien beings.  If you did (or do), you’re in good company.  Most people who are doing the work to live conscious and authentic lives feel that way.
At one point during the workshop, I invited a surprise guest, Wayne Dyer, to join us to talk about his writing process.  No sooner was his butt in the chair, when he explained that the key to his success was his willingness to buck the system and follow a path traveled by few.  He was adamant that had he operated within an established norm, he would not have written more than 30 books – books that are published in more than 45 countries today.
Later in the week, I invited Julie Barr, a talented comedian who was performing on the cruise, to speak about her creative process.  Talk about out-of-the-box.  Her success as a performer and comedic artist was evident in her willingness to offer a straight and hilarious conversation about what it takes to write and perform stand-up comedy.  Boy, did we laugh!
The courage and personal strength required to navigate the rough patches that inevitably come with feeling like an outsider, are the very qualities you’ll need to withstand the pressure when society tries to pull you back into compliance from your position of originality.  I like to think of the outsider experience as a “polishing school,” a training program that allows great thinkers and doers to develop what it takes to shine, as they break new ground or conduct some kind of change-agent activity in the world.
The very act of living an authentic life requires you to risk being unusual, different, or strange.  It’s the opposite of trying to fit in.  Whether you dress or live in a unique way, bend the rules with your own creative slant on life, or follow a curvaceous path that meanders around social norms, the reward lies in knowing that you’re living a real and honest life.  Is there anything better?
If you feel like an outsider, welcome.  Take this week’s challenge and get a little more comfortable in that great, unique skin of yours…

Take Action Challenge

Look for one way, each day this week, to practice finding inner peace in the outer lane of life.  Dress a little different, use words that are more reflective of your true nature, or offer an opinion that tilts the boat a bit.  Be willing to be you.  It’s the best (and only) was to cruise through life ☺.

 http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-23-the-outsider-celebrate-your-uniqueness/

Week 24 – Life Reform: A new prescription for health

Topic of the Week

Life Reform

This week’s newsletter is a rebroadcast…
Yesterday I spent the morning with 400 women at a “Women’s Wellness Day” sponsored by South County Hospital in beautiful Narragansett, RI.  I was asked to kick off the day with a discussion about how self-care fuels health and wellness.
During my speech, I talked about the need for women to own their power (their voice, their truth, and their buying power), by dealing with the real issues of what it takes to create long-lasting health and wellness.  Rather than waiting for illness to occur and then treating it, or relying solely on something or someone else to take care of us once we get sick, we need to transform the way we think about health and healing.
Most of us are familiar with the common prescription for good health. 
We’re told to:
Eat right
Exercise
Reduce Stress
Get regular checkups
While these things certainly will improve your health, the truth is they’re difficult to do consistently.  Why?  Because we still follow a limited model of healthcare that makes compliance and consistency a pipedream.  It’s a model that fails to consider the most important factors of all – what’s going on in our lives.
Based on my experience as a coach, I’ve learned that there’s a direct correlation between the quality of a person’s life and their physical health.  For example, I’ve seen a client whose home was so filled with clutter that she wouldn’t allow anyone to visit.  Eventually her loneliness (and nonstop self-loathing) turned into a full-blown depression that needed ongoing treatment.  Or, I worked with a man who felt such enormous pressure to provide for his family under the strain of tough economic times and an impending bankruptcy, that he wound up with hypertension and heart disease.  And certainly, in my own life, I had my share of illnesses that were directly related to things like not speaking up in relationships, being conflict phobic, or ignoring my creative needs.
When we talk about healthcare reform, we really need to be talking about “life reform.”  We need to empower people to tell the truth and deal with what isn’t working in their lives.  We then need to create places where people can get the ongoing support they need to make these positive changes.  And we need to track the benefits so that those in the business of healthcare – doctors, hospitals, insurance companies, government agencies, etc., finally understand that the greatest financial rewards (and savings) come from dealing with the source of the problem not the symptoms.
Ironically, the solution is ridiculously cheap. Our Life Makeover Groups, for example, have literally saved lives (and healthcare dollars) over the last ten years by providing self-directed, ongoing support groups for people who were ready and willing to make positive changes.  They’re free and available to anyone in the world who wants to join or start a group.
“Life reform” begins with you and your willingness to take back your power.  In some ways, it’s the marriage of healthcare and coaching.  It’s taking the pulse of the current state of your health – blood pressure, cholesterol level, weight, or the existence of aches and pains, for example, and then measuring them again six or twelve months after you’ve gotten the support (and accountability) you need to make the life changes that directly relate to these health issues.  It can be quite surprising (and motivating) to see what happens.  I’ve heard hundreds of success stories over the years – the woman whose fibromyalgia goes away when she finally gets help around the house and eliminates the chronic state of resentment that landed in her body; or the man who loses fifty pounds when he finally sells the business that’s been keeping him up at night because it’s been losing money for years.  From what I’ve seen, people who take charge of their lives and make healthy changes, spend far less on doctor and hospital visits.
This is the message I delivered yesterday and today I share it with you.  In light of the ongoing challenge with our healthcare system here in the states, I’d say it’s time to adopt a new “prescription for health” – one that will truly make a difference.  And it begins with you…

Take Action Challenge

This week I invite you to engage in your own “life reform” by measuring the current state of your health.  You might do things like check your weight, get your cholesterol level checked, or your blood pressure, and keep track of the results.  Then, get a buddy, a Life Makeover Group, or a partner, and begin making the life changes you know you need to make.  Give yourself a few months to do the work and then recheck your stats to see how you’ve improved.  It’s bound to put a smile on your face and keep money in your pocket!

 http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-24-life-reform-a-new-prescription-for-health/

 

Week 25 – New Rules: Whose messages are you listening to?

 

Topic of the Week

New Rules

This morning I visited our farmer’s market to get some fresh vegetables and to see what kinds of treasures the local artists were offering.  I love this summer ritual and look forward to seeing familiar faces, hearing music from neighborhood bands, or learning about the new businesses that have joined our community.
As I sat on a bench with my friend Nancy, eating a slice of strawberry rhubarb pie, I overheard a conversation between a mom, her daughter, and the mother’s mom.  The daughter, who couldn’t have been more than 5 years old, was complaining about how hot it was.  After hearing “Mom, it’s tooooooo hoooooot,” for the tenth time, the mom was clearly getting tired.  “Honey, everyone’s hot,” she replied, “you’ll just need to wait till we get in the car.”  As they continued to walk toward the parking lot, I then heard the grandmother say, “And, if you talk about it, it makes it worse.”
Now, I understood exactly what the grandmother was trying to do – help her granddaughter handle the heat.  Yet, I also heard something else – the formation of a new rule.  This simple, harmless message had the potential to lodge itself in the thirsty sponge-like brain of the little girl, only to become a rule to follow later in life – “Don’t talk about what feels bad because it will just make it worse.”
Each one of us has a mental filing cabinet full of rules, many of which were harmless one-liners uttered by the adults who occupied our worlds.  The question is:  Whose rules are you living by?

Take Action Challenge

This week, when you find yourself feeling stuck or frustrated, ask:  “What would someone have to believe to be stuck like me right now?”  Then, decide whether or not this belief is worth holding onto…

 http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-25-new-rules-whose-messages-are-you-listening-to/

Week 26 – Soul Treats: Are you giving yourself enough?

 

Topic of the Week

Soul Treats

Today has been a much-needed lazy day.  My calendar was clear.  I was commitment-free.  And I decided to simply be spontaneous – only do what I felt like doing in the moment.
After making breakfast, posting on Facebook, catching up on the latest news, and playing with my cat, I went out to lie on my deck to look up at the clouds.  As I watched them slowly meander across the sky, my mind drifted off and soon I felt present and connected to my body.  I love that feeling – the spacious, free feeling I felt as a little girl sitting in my backyard playing in the dirt for hours.  Not a care in the world.  No place to be.  Nothing to worry about.  Just hands in dirt.  Ahhhh, the good old days ☺.
After hanging out on the deck for a while, I came inside to sit with Poupon.  As I stroked his fur, I thought about the things I often fantasize about doing when I’m too busy to do them.  You know, the little things we all wish we could do to feel more alive or connected to ourselves.  So, I decided to make a list that included things like:

• Wake up early and drive to the beach to watch the sunrise.
• Finish the novels that are sitting next to my bed.
• Watch documentaries (a favorite pastime).
• Start riding my bike again – don’t know why I ever stopped.
• Take a flower-arranging class (in my next life I’ve decided I’m going to own a flower shop).
• Create a journal using colored markers and paints, and tape favorite quotes, affirmations, and photos inside for fun.
• Finish a fashion board I started a year ago filled with pictures of great clothing, shoes, and jewelry designs.
• Plant the second phase of my deck garden and start a new flower garden.
• Take late afternoon walks with Michael around our neighborhood.

I think of these types of activities as little “soul treats” – the things we do that add depth, richness, fun, and meaning to our lives.   Too often they get relegated to the back burner because emails, phone calls, endless commitments, and grown-up responsibilities always seem far more important. Yes, I know we all have things we must do, but what if we were to make these significant, too?
Ok, how about you?  Any ideas?  I’d love to hear about them (so I can add to my list, too!).

Take Action Challenge

Make your own list of little soul treats – the things you’ve been thinking about doing but not giving enough time, energy and attention to.  Keep it nearby so you remember to make them a priority, too!

 http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-26-soul-treats-are-you-giving-yourself-enough/

 

Week 27 – The Graduate: Lessons to live by

Topic of the Week

The Graduate

This week’s newsletter is one I run every year around this time.  It’s for students who are graduating (and for us adults who need a reminder about what really matters in life).  I hope it inspires you to stand tall, express your talents boldly, or to take a big risk.  Here are the seven lessons:
1. Spend more time on the who rather than the what. What you do will always be less important than who you become. Knowledge is great but it will never take you as far as your courage, your integrity, your reputation for someone who keeps his or her word, or your commitment to be of service to others in an important way. As you go through life, you will face challenges and obstacles.  When you do, get in the habit of asking yourself the following three questions:

• How can I grow from this experience?
• What qualities of character am I being called to develop?
• How can I use this event to make me a better person?

2. Follow your heart. Pay far more attention to what you think than what everyone else thinks.  The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with you. When I think about the regrets I’ve heard from adults over the years, the biggest ones always have to do with listening to everyone else but themselves. Start now. Make your own rules and follow them. At the end of your life, the most important person you’ll have to answer to is you.
3. Develop a strong “maverick muscle.” Be willing to bend the rules, learn how to disappoint others gracefully, get comfortable with people not liking you, and always strive to be an original thinker. I have a little sign in my office that says: “No Guts, No Glory” and I use it to remind me to go against the grain whenever necessary.  Allow yourself to be the unique spirit that you were meant to be.  Trust me.  Your willingness to rock the boat will set you apart from 95% of the people you meet throughout your life.
4. Build your courage muscles. Starting tomorrow, practice doing one small thing a day that frightens you. Learn to water ski, ask someone out on a date, go for that promotion you keep dreaming about, or learn to dance. Small acts of courage strengthen your ability to take even bigger leaps later on like deciding to write your own book or run for political office. If you really want to build your courage muscles, take a public speaking course.  Twenty years ago I allowed someone to drag me to a Toastmaster’s Meeting – an international speech club – and it changed the course of my life forever.  Courage builds confidence and confident people rarely settle for less.
5. Don’t go to the hardware store for milk. When you’re excited about doing something new, make sure you turn to those people who will encourage you to take a chance – the ones who believe in you rather than those who tell you why an idea won’t work. Surround yourself with positive people – the kind of people who challenge you to reach beyond your fear rather than play it safe. There will always be people telling you why an idea is risky, or why you can’t do something. That advice is usually based on the mistakes they’ve made or the chances they didn’t take because they were afraid. Always remember this: Someone’s past does not equal your future. When faced with a naysayer, smile, say thank you, and turn around. Stick with positive people who believe in you. Remember, if you needed milk, you wouldn’t go to the hardware store.
(By the way, you’re mom was right. You do become who you hang around with. Choose your friends wisely :).
6. Live by this mantra: Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Don’t give up, especially when things get hard, and don’t ever let anyone or anything put limits on you.
7. Stay connected. Your use of technology – email or texting, for example – will never replace the value of a live connection with someone. Every now and then pick up the phone and call a friend or visit a loved one rather than send an email or text message. Too often I’ve seen technology draw a wedge between people. When we come to the end of our lives, it’s who we loved and who loved us that matters most.  Make “in-person” time a priority.
Finally, at the time you were born you were given an amazing gift – a gift that most of us forget about, as we grow older. It’s the power to design your own unique life. You are an artist. The canvas is your life. From this moment on, take ownership of this gift and use it wisely. If you do, your life will become an extraordinary work of art. Congratulations!

Take Action Challenge

Please share this week’s newsletter with a student in your life.  It might just save him or her some of the heartache and stress we’ve experienced ☺.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-27-the-graduate-lessons-to-live-by/

 

Week 28 – Solution-Focused: Put your energy to good use

Topic of the Week

Solution-Focused

This week, after taking some time off to spend with a friend visiting from London, I was reminded of something important: I need to stay focused on solutions rather than problems.  One morning, after discussing the gulf oil disaster at length, I noticed that I felt exhausted and depressed for the remainder of the day.  When I thought about it, I realized that this has been happening more and more as I’ve watched the story unfold.  It’s so easy to feel hopeless and overwhelmed by the enormity of the damage as well as the response (who actually thinks that pouring toxic chemicals – dispersants – into a vast ocean filled with living beings is a solution?!?).

I know many of you feel the same way.  These are challenging times and it’s heartbreaking to see what’s happening to our planet.  The foolish choices made by some with so little consciousness are infuriating at best.  But, it’s important to remember that focusing on the problem, over and over again, just contributes to the energy going in that direction – toward the problem.  So, I decided to shift my attention to the fix.  Last week I started searching online for people who were creating solutions and I instantly felt hopeful.  I found several ideas and it was a great reminder that there are smart, committed, and conscientious people putting their energy to good use.
Where are you putting your attention?  Rather than get seduced by the frightening and devastating news of doom and gloom, let’s collectively focus on good news, solutions, and what’s working, shall we?  When we do, we:
Have more energy to do well in the world
Think better thoughts
Increase our level of personal power
Generate smart ideas
Begin to see good everywhere
Feel hopeful and empowered
Become a positive influence on others and on the planet
And, we open ourselves up to wisdom and insight so we, too, can become part of the solution.
To that end, I invite you to share your good news with us.  Read the Take Action Challenge below for details.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-28-solution-focused-put-your-energy-to-good-use/

Week 29 – Ending the War: Food as a doorway to your Self

Topic of the Week

Ending the War

I’ve just finished moderating a 6-week web retreat with Geneen Roth, author of Women Food and God.  I accepted Geneen’s invitation because I loved her book, respect her as a teacher, and wanted to learn more about food as a doorway to a deeper relationship with myself.  I’m so glad I did.  The course was eye opening, mind shifting, and provocative in all the right ways.  Here are just a few of the lessons I learned from the experience.  I hope they speak to you.

• What my mind and my mouth tell me to eat is rarely what my body wants.
• What my mind tells me to do in relationship to exercise is rarely how my body wants to move.
• My head and heart often make my food and exercise choices, not my body.
• How I eat is how I live.  If I’m rushed, overwhelmed, or irritated, for instance, I eat on the run, shovel food in my mouth to get meals over with, or make food choices designed to numb my frazzled nerves.  These behaviors do not support weight loss or a vibrant and healthy body.
• Deprivation, restrictions, and rigid rules will always lead right back to poor food choices, rebellious overeating, and a “what the hell” attitude.  It’s requires a paradigm shift to get that we change with love, not with demands.
• Diets teach us to rely on something outside of ourselves – a program, a set of guidelines, or the numbers on a scale.  This approach is the opposite of what we need to maintain a healthy lifestyle.  It all starts on the inside, by listening to your body and your highest Self.
• Ending the war with food is about beginning a relationship with myself based on trust.  Staying awake and listening to my body so I eat when I’m hungry, eat what my body wants, and stop when I’m full, is the path to creating a more loving and trusting relationship with myself.
• When we learn to trust ourselves with food, an even bigger world opens up to us.

If you’re interested in calling a truce when it comes to your war with food and weight loss, I suggest you sit with each of the seven lessons above.  Then, if you’d like to go deeper, you might want to get the archive package of Geneen’s course .  Please know that her program is not a quick fix.  As Geneen said during the last session:  “This path isn’t about losing weight quickly, it’s about connecting with who you really are – the part of you that doesn’t weigh a pound.”  Love that…

Take Action Challenge

This week, contemplate this piece of wisdom from Geneen:
“How you eat is how you live.”
How is your relationship with food a mirror for your life?

 

Week 30 – Food for Thought: More on food as a doorway

 

Topic of the Week

Food for Thought

Last week I shared some of the lessons I learned during Geneen Roth’s web retreat (author of Women Food and God).  This week, I thought I’d share some of the wisdom she delivered during the program.  The following statements are from my notes, so some may be paraphrased.  Let’s see if they speak to you…

• No one knows what’s best for you, but you.
• Our beliefs about what’s possible or not possible show up in our relationship with food.
• Diets don’t work.  Learning to trust yourself does.
• Love yourself into change.
• Change requires a tolerance for discomfort.
• When you feel small, collapsed, weak, judged, alone, scared, or when you feel like you need a grown up to step in and save you, you’re under the influence of “The Voice” – the part of you that wants to be safe by maintaining the status quo.
• Become a witness to your inner critic.  When you notice “The Voice” you are no longer the voice.
• You have to want a deeper, more conscious relationship with yourself more than you want to be comfortable or thin.
• The body wants to feel good.  When given a chance, it chooses healthy, energizing food.
• We cannot change by force.  Force closes the heart.
• When we listen to ourselves it’s impossible to binge.
• When we lose our connection to ourselves, we feel homeless.
• Strong feelings = strong cravings.
• Eat what you want when you’re hungry, feel what you feel when you’re not.
• A thought is a precursor to eating when you’re not hungry.
• You don’t gain weight when you eat when you’re hungry, eat what your body wants, and stop when you’re full.
• You gain weight when you’re not paying attention.

Each of these statements were delivered in the context of the whole program, however, considered on their own, they provide excellent food for thought (pun intended ☺).
There were also several provocative questions Geneen asked during the course.  Below, in the Take Action Challenge, are a few that should get you thinking.
Have a healthy week!

Take Action Challenge

This week, take some time to consider the following questions.  If you’d like to improve your relationship with yourself, your body, and food, I’d go deeper and write about the answers in a journal or notebook.

• What would life be like if you lived as if… You were worth your own time
  You liked your body
  You deserved your own attention
  You loved yourself dearly
  What would you do, say, or eat?
  
• Who are you being loyal to when you eat when you’re not hungry?
• What would your life be like if you gave yourself the kind of special attention you give to everyone else?

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-30-food-for-thought-more-on-food-as-a-doorway/

Week 31 – Tiny Treats: The secret to a good life

Topic of the Week

Tiny Treats

I’m just getting back (late last night) from a trip to Italy with Michael.  It was our first real vacation since his illness and we had an amazing time.  I need to digest the experience, so, while I do, I thought I’d share a little wisdom from our Facebook community.  Before I left, I invited people to offer their favorite little treats – the simple things that make life enjoyable on a daily basis.  We had lots of great ideas.  Take a look at some of them and add something new to your daily repertoire this week!
Long showers
A great cup of tea
Greek yogurt with walnuts and raspberries
Evening baths
Time to be creative, just for the sheer fun of it
An afternoon nap
Water or juice in a wine glass
A coffee date with a friend
Zumba!
An appointment at a swanky hair salon
Giving myself time to scrapbook
Buying a little bunch of flowers while food shopping
A book from the library
Cuddle time with our Chihuahua
Watching a great movie on the couch with a loved one
Treating myself to a pedicure
Reading a great mystery or suspense novel
A couple of Hershey Kisses every day
Cooking with someone I love
Snuggling my husband before I get up in the morning
Washing my wedding ring until it sparkles
Walking in my garden to see what’s changed
Singing from the top of my lungs in the car
How about you?  Any favorite little treats you’d like to share? do tell ☺.

Take Action Challenge

How would your life improve if you made a conscious decision to give yourself at least one small treat every day?  Try it and see what happens…

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-31-tiny-treats-the-secret-to-a-good-life/

 

Week 32 – My Daily Affirmation Cards: Making good things come to life

 

 

Topic of the Week

My Daily Affirmation Cards

I’m happy to announce that Hay House has just released my new card deck, My Daily Affirmation Cards.  I love combining words with art and this time I’ve used favorite images from my dear friend and inspirational photographer, Melissa Olson, who loves animals and the beauty of nature as much as I do.  This deck contains cards in seven categories – Relationships, Prosperity, Work, Physical Health, Environment, Spiritual Health, and Emotional Health, and it’s designed to help you focus your attention (and intention) on the areas you’d most like to change or grow.
Two years ago I developed a morning ritual of writing one page of spontaneous affirmations in my journal as an uplifting way to start my day.  I’d make myself a cup of tea, find a sunny spot in my home (whenever I could), and sit down and write what came to mind.  I’ve learned over the years that it’s the feeling an affirmation gives you that fuels its expression in your life so, over time, I crafted a list of affirmations that made me feel hopeful, excited, and instantly inspired. Then, I’d choose five to seven that represented the areas I wanted to focus on the most, and I would think about them, doodle them throughout the day, sing them to myself while driving in the car, or repeat them like mantras when I felt stuck or in a funk.
I think of the affirmation process as installing new, powerful messages into the subconscious mind so they can begin to materialize in the outer world.  And that’s exactly what started to happen.  One of the affirmations I used frequently, for instance, was, “I love working in creative collaboration with smart, conscious people who want to have fun and bring something great to the world!”  Sure enough, within six months, two perfect opportunities to work with people I respect and admire showed up.  And that was only the beginning.  One year after starting this ritual, I could see that several affirmations had come to life!
It’s my hope that this new deck makes it easy for you to use the power of affirmations in your own life.  And, to make it fun and affordable, we’re launching the deck with a “2 for 1 special” in our webstore.  That way you can share a deck with someone or give away individual cards from the second deck.  I put a card in every piece of correspondence that leaves my office – they go into bills, birthday cards and thank you notes, packages, etc. This special will run through midnight on Monday, August 16th and you can find them here.  I hope you find them useful and inspiring!

Take Action Challenge

This week, try using the “Universal Card” affirmation in the new deck and see what shows up in your life.  Here you go:
“My life is a constant stream of miracles.”

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-32-my-daily-affirmation-cards-making-good-things-
 come-to-life/

Week 33 – Finding Work: Three ideas to earn income

Topic of the Week

Finding Work

Last week I received an email from a woman who’s been unemployed for several months and is worried about losing her home.  My heart goes out to her and the thousands of people who are in the same situation, struggling to make ends meet.  As I considered her challenge, I suggested several things that might help.  This week I thought I’d share the ideas in case you, or someone you care about, need help.
Goal – Bring in money as soon as possible. This goal is not only designed to help pay the bills, but also to raise self-esteem.  It’s very difficult to search for a job when you feel defeated and unworthy.  Earning money quickly raises the confidence necessary to put yourself out there in a strong and bankable way.   Here are three steps that can help you fulfill this goal:
Step #1 – Uncover a bankable skill. We all have skills that can be used by others – all of us.  You’ll want to identify a skill you can use to make money asap.  To do this, answer three questions:
1.    What are you really good at?
2.    What do you enjoy doing?
3.    What have others acknowledged you for in the past?
Here are a couple of examples:
You might be good at organizing and you might find that you enjoy making order out of chaos.  In the past, your friends may have acknowledged how organized your home looks, or how neat your office seems to be every time they visit.  Or, you might be good at landscaping and you may enjoy keeping your yard well groomed and attractive.  In the past, neighbors may have commented on how impressed they are with your ability to grow flowers or shrubs.
The answers to these questions reveal clues to a bankable skill – something others might pay you to do for them.  Other bankable skills include:
Cleaning
Shopping
Running errands
Filing
Bookkeeping
Typing
Transcribing
Planting flowers/vegetables
Teaching/tutoring
Babysitting
Painting
Decorating
Planning events
Household repairs
Auto repairs
Cooking/baking
When I was starting my business and struggling to pay rent, I used my ability to type 90 wpm to support me.  I was a strong typist, I enjoyed the work, and people often commented on how quickly I typed.  I offered my skills to small business owners, local universities, and friends and family, and it helped pay the bills.
Step #2 – Set the right price. Over the last few years I’ve kept track of the services that clients and friends have performed for a fee.  And I’ve kept track of the hourly rates.  This information always comes in handy when coaching people on Facebook or on my radio show.  The hourly fees for most of the bankable skills listed above ranged from $10 an hour to $75.  And here’s the thing – the average hourly rate was $30 an hour!  Very few people paid in the $10 an hour range.
Make sure that you do some homework before you set your fee so you don’t undersell your services.  Using search tools online makes this easy.  Just google “fees for doing X” and see what you get!
Step#3 – Spread the word. One of the big advantages of technology is how easy it is to tell people about the services you provide.  Craigslist.com, Facebook, Twitter, and email, all provide great opportunities to let friends, family, and strangers know about your bankable skills.  Have someone help you put together a simple email, post, or notice that describes the services you’re offering and post it in multiple places. Be sure to let your enthusiasm, warmth, or humor shine through. Here’s a quick example of what I mean:
Mature and responsible woman available to make order out of chaos.  If you have an office that looks like a bomb went off in it, a garage that’s so filled with stuff you can’t see your car, or a closet or room that needs organizing, I’m the gal for you.  I can clean up, shape up, and make your space shine in no time.  Please write to me and let’s talk about how I can support you!  (if this is your skill, please feel free to use this notice ☺).
The nature of employment is changing.  I’ve written about that before.  More and more people are turning to self-employment as a viable way to earn a living either between jobs or in place of fulltime employment with a company.  Some people even discover a whole new passion – being an entrepreneur who’s calling the shots, making their own hours, and earning more money then they ever thought possible.
Might that be you?

Take Action Challenge

If you’re unemployed (or underemployed), consider the skills you’re good at and how you might offer these services to others.  If you’re gainfully employed, please find someone who’s looking for work and share these ideas.  Your support could make a world of difference.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-33-finding-work-three-ideas-to-earn-income/

 Week 34 – The Power of Perspective: See with new eyes

Topic of the Week

The Power of Perspective

This morning, I sat on a stool in my bathroom for almost thirty minutes watching my cat, Poupon, study the faucet on our tub. Just before I walked into the room, he somehow managed to turn the knob just enough for the handheld shower to slowly drip, drip, drip water into the tub below. By the time I arrived, he was sitting on the windowsill next to the faucet, trying to figure out where the water was coming from.

As I sat staring at Poupon, I was taken by his intense curiosity, his precise, present-moment-focus, and the obvious wonder he had at seeing water droplets in a whole new way. I laughed to myself as he repeatedly sniffed the faucet trying to figure out where they were coming from, then carefully touched the water drops with his paw when they finally fell, only to wait patiently with steely determination for the next one to drop.

Watching Poupon made me think about the benefits of seeing in a new way. Just imagine. How could wonder return to your life if you saw your world through the eyes of a cat or dog? How would a problem get solved with a new perspective – maybe the view of a teenager, a grandmother, or an alien from another planet? Who might you fall in love with again if you were able to see that
person in the way you did when you first met?

Perspective is a powerful healing force. When we shift how we look at something, we open the door to new possibilities. For example, if you choose to see a problem with a co-worker as a gift instead of a hassle, you might discover that this person is trying to teach you about compassion or forgiveness. If you view your boring commute through the eyes of a bird in flight, you might see something miraculous that you’ve never noticed before. Imagine viewing your quest for a more passionate life through the eyes of a child. There’s a good chance that you’d laugh more, find joy in unexpected places, or smile at the simplest things.

Today I choose to see my life through the eyes of Poupon and I look forward to discovering the brighter side of ordinary. If you’d like a little reminder from Poupon, too, then take a look below. He goes from curiosity to a heavenly perspective in no time at all…

Take Action Challenge

This week, imagine yourself using a new pair of glasses to see an old problem or challenge from a fresh perspective. How might a wise grandfather deal with the issue? What if you brought an eighteen-year-old to the table to renegotiate your position? What would change if you stepped into the shoes of someone who carried a contrary opinion? Let the power of perspective guide you…

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-34-the-power-of-perspective/

Week 35 – Life Review: What’s new and good in your life?

Topic of the Week

Life Review

Every year around this time, I invite you to stop and reflect on the positive changes you’ve made in your life.  Since the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of relationship you have with yourself, it’s important to be your own best champion. When you feel good about who you are, you allow better things – people, experiences, jobs, opportunities, etc. – into your life. Taking the time to inventory your positive changes is an important step in developing this stronger relationship. And it’s a key way to reinforce good habits ☺.
If you’ve been in our Life Makeover community from the beginning of the year, you might want to review this year’s newsletters to help you remember the changes you’ve made. If you’re new to the community (welcome!), don’t worry.  Answer the following questions anyway. You can review past newsletters by visiting our archives here.
Reflect on the last six months and answer the following questions:
1. What positive changes have you made in your life?
2. How have you stayed motivated to make these changes?
3. How has your physical, emotional, or spiritual well-being been strengthened or improved?
4. What qualities of character have been further developed? Are you more courageous, patient, or light-hearted, for example?
5. What challenges have you faced or what obstacles have you overcome?
6. What hard decisions did you make that dramatically improved the quality of your life?
7. How have you been a better partner, spouse, friend, or co-worker?
As you consider these questions, build a strong foundation for success by focusing on what’s worked instead of focusing on what still needs to change. When you acknowledge your growth, you build self-respect and self-trust, two key ingredients that will support you in making healthier choices for you and your loved ones from this point on.
As I’ve said many, many times, the greatest gift we give to humanity is our commitment to constantly raise our level of consciousness. Each week, as you take one simple step to live a healthier, more creative life, you do just that. This is important work and you deserve to acknowledge your success.  So, be sure to complete our weekly challenge.  Congratulations!

Take Action Challenge

Make a list of at least five positive changes you’ve made so far this year. Open a file on your computer right now labeled “My Success List” and put the five items on the list (add it to a prior list if you’ve done this before).  It’s extremely important to put this list in writing. By doing so, you send a message to yourself that you’re worth the time and energy. And, when your self-worth increases, the world responds accordingly. You become a magnet for better life experiences.
If you belong to a Life Makeover Group, celebrate your success together. If not, share your accomplishments with a friend or family member. Then, spend an afternoon at the beach, take yourself to the theater, enjoy dinner with a friend, or buy yourself a gift. Don’t just move onto the next to-do item or goal.  Stop and reward yourself for all your hard work!

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-35-life-review-whats-new-and-good-in-your-life/

 Week 36 – Financial Self-Esteem: Raise the bar

Topic of the Week

Financial Self-Esteem

While cleaning out old files last week I came across an article from Money Magazine about the secrets of achieving your money dreams (even on a modest income). The article focused on the strategies of people who had created a net worth of one million dollars or more. The common denominator in each success story was the commitment to pay careful attention to how they spent and invested their money.  As a result, every person had acquired a high level of financial self-esteem – the key to creating and sustaining wealth.
High financial self-esteem is the result of handling your money with wisdom and maturity. When you develop good money habits, use these skills to care for the wealth you already have, and maintain the discipline to live within your means, you increase your level of financial self-respect and confidence. This opens the door to more.
You’ll know that your financial self-esteem needs a boost by the number of times you answer “true” to the statements below. The higher the number, the greater the need for new behaviors that will make you feel better about yourself and money.  Here we go…
I charge less for my services than I know I deserve.
I feel guilty or bad about how I spend money.
My checkbook is never balanced properly.
I buy gifts for others even though I can’t afford them.
I have a tendency to pay my bills late.
I’m too embarrassed to let anyone see my financial situation.
I rarely contribute to charitable organizations.
I add to my debt without knowing how I’ll pay it back.
I have trouble asking for money owed to me.
I blame others for my financial troubles (parents, banks, credit card companies, etc.).
If you scored high, please don’t beat yourself up.  Most people struggle with money, especially in the last couple of years during these tough economic times.  However, even prior to the financial downturn, our online community surveys showed that “stress related to money” was a burden most people carried.  This means that there are a whole lot of people reading this newsletter who feel badly about how they handle their money.  And here’s the problem with that scenario: chronic shame or guilt about finances only creates a state of poor thinking and this type of thinking is like a magnet for more financial trouble.
So, to turn your financial future around, you’ll need to raise your financial self-esteem.  This means focusing your energy and attention on the new behaviors that will set you up to think wealthy thoughts.  Over the years I’ve learned that when we feel good about how we handle money, we naturally trust (and allow) ourselves to receive more.  This frees us up to embrace the abundance we rightfully deserve.
In order to improve your financial health, you’ll need to slowly and systematically add the good habits of fiscal discipline.  And the way to get started is by answering the following question:
“What’s the one thing you know you need to do to improve your financial health that you keep putting off?”
Notice the first answer that comes to mind (it’s usually the action we most want to avoid and the one that most needs our attention ☺.  If your answer is “I don’t know,” then find a professional who can assess your overall financial situation and make suggestions about where to begin. Since most of us never received basic training about money, there’s a good chance that not knowing where to begin may be stopping you from moving forward. Contact your accountant or financial planner for guidance and direction.
Maybe you do know what needs to change. If so, taking action is your key to raising your financial self-esteem. For example, you might need to increase your fees, contact creditors about a debt repayment plan, hire a bookkeeper to get your accounts balanced, or find a smart financial planner who can help you create an investment plan that’s right for you and your family.
Although you might be tempted to put your head in the sand hoping that your financial troubles will go away, don’t do it. Get on track by completing the “Take Action Challenge” below and watch how quickly things turn around!

Take Action Challenge

Start by taking action on the answer to the question above.  You might need to stop using a credit card you can’t pay off, get your taxes in order, set your bills up on an auto-payment plan, or renegotiate a loan.  Be brave enough to tackle the tough steps first!

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-36-financial-self-esteem-raise-the-bar/

Week 37 – Life Preserver: How to save someone

Topic of the Week

Life Preserver

I’ve just finished teaching our Movers & Shakers workshop in Toronto and wanted to send a brief newsletter that shared a simple, yet powerful message.
Last week I had dinner with good friends, some of who are dealing with difficult life situations.  During our conversation, one friend going through a tough divorce said, “I have this handwritten note in my wallet that says ‘You’re the best uncle in the world!’  It came from my six-year-old niece who wrote it while visiting last year.  There are times when it literally gets me through the day.”
Upon hearing this, another friend shared, “Ever since finding out that my dad is seriously ill and may not be long for this world, every day is heartbreaking.  Sometimes a smile from a stranger is the life preserver I need to prevent me from drowning in the pain.”
Tiny gestures.  Unexpected moments of connection.  Simple messages that pierce the heart.  These are the things that often touch us in profound ways – ways the gift-giver may never realize.
On this anniversary of 9/11, I still remember feeling deeply loved by a woman on a train who held my gaze as I cried during a minute of silence honoring those who lost their lives.  Feeling embarrassed, yet unable to contain my feelings, her look said, “Don’t worry.  Let them flow. I’m right here with you.”  She never broke my gaze until the period of silence was complete.  And I’ll never forget her.
Something that seems so inconsequential may literally save someone’s emotional life.   How simple.  How lovely.  How easy to forget.  Please take this week’s challenge to remember…

Take Action Challenge

This week, go out and save someone every single day.  Smile at a stranger, recognize someone’s good act and share it, take the time to acknowledge a special quality in a co-worker, friend, or colleague.   Heal a life with your words, actions, and love.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-37-life-preserver-how-to-save-someone/

Week 38 – Stay Awake: Are you missing your life?

Topic of the Week

Stay Awake

Are you missing your life?  Ask yourself:
How often do I overindulge in the following?
Drinking caffeine
Drinking alcohol
Checking or sending emails
Talking on the phone
Texting
Engaging with others on social media sites
Watching TV
Chronically complaining about what isn’t working
Fueling drama
Rushing from one task/activity to another
Getting “caught up”
Taking care of the needs of others
This week, while listening to an old friend talk about how she no longer distracts herself with substances or activities that prevent her from living in the present, I was reminded of how important it is to limit these seductive actions.  When overdone, they make it easy to numb out, avoid making necessary changes, lose connection with loved ones, or tolerate the things that would be intolerable to someone with healthy, high standards.
So, think about it.  Which one are you ready to limit this week so you can feel and experience more of your precious life?

Take Action Challenge

This week, simply become aware of any substance or activity that robs you of being present to your life.  The one you most likely need to address is the one you keep beating yourself up about.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-38-stay-awake-are-you-missing-your-life/

Week 39 – In Preparation: Turn pain into opportunity

Topic of the Week

In Preparation

This week, while I’m in London for the I Can Do It conference and Movers & Shakers workshop, I thought I’d rerun a popular newsletter from 2008.  I hope it speaks to you.  Here goes…
This week I caught an interview with Jennifer Hudson, the young singer who was voted off of American Idol and ended up stealing the show in the movie, Dreamgirls. Jennifer was asked how she handled the disappointment of being eliminated from Idol when most people thought she would win. She admitted that it was painful and that she cried a lot, but that eventually she returned to her faith. “I chose to trust that God had a bigger plan for me than I could see at the time,” she explained.
I guess so. Her performance in Dreamgirls led to an Oscar.
Jennifer’s story is a powerful reminder of how life’s disappointments may in fact be preparation for something even more significant in our lives. And, this belief has the best chance of coming true when you make a demonstrated commitment to learn and grow from your present day circumstances.
When I look back at the painful breakup of the relationship I was in before my marriage, for example, I can see that the suffering and subsequent growth I went through was exactly what I needed to prepare me for a more mature and lasting relationship later on – although I certainly didn’t know it at the time. The pain and disappointment forced me to grow. It challenged me to face my fear of living alone. It prompted me to get my butt into therapy. And it ultimately helped me to develop self-respect. I learned to treat myself better, which in turn, naturally raised my standards for how I would allow others to treat me in the future.
Jennifer’s belief can serve us all in times of suffering or pain. For example, is there something going on in your life right now – a breakup, a problem at work, the slow growth of your business, or financial hardship – that might be attempting to prepare you for what’s next? Think about it. What if your current challenge is a call to action – the kind of action that will prepare you for the next phase of your life? What are you being invited to learn? What qualities of character are trying to be strengthened or developed? Where do you need to take more responsibility in your life?
As I’ve dealt with my own challenges, the belief of “disappointment or suffering as preparation” is something I hold onto as a reminder that we are never alone, that there is a purpose to our suffering and pain, and that when we get to the other side, a great opportunity to use what we’ve learned in service to ourselves and others awaits.
Take heart. Every day, in some way, we’re all being prepared for something better…

Take Action Challenge

Choose one thing that you feel disappointed about, frustrated by, or fearful of? Now, ask yourself the following questions:
1. If this were happening to help strengthen a part of me, which part would it be?
2. What lesson can I learn from this experience?
3. How is facing this obstacle teaching me important skills that can be used to help others?
Finally, ask yourself: What kind of help do I need to make the most of this learning opportunity? Then, do what it takes to find that support. Ask friends for a referral to a therapist, call a mentor for guidance, or create a gathering of colleagues to help you brainstorm new ideas. The Universe supports action.  Take a step today…

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-39-in-preparation-turn-pain-into-opportunity/

Week 40 – Embrace Easy: Letting go of hard

Topic of the Week

Embrace Easy

Do you expect things to be hard or do you allow them to be easy? When something goes wrong are you able to step back and imagine a simple solution or do you automatically envision a major problem waiting to be solved? Recently I discovered that I belong to the worst-case scenario club – I expect things to be hard.
During a warm, spring day I decided to try the air conditioning system in our new home only to discover that it didn’t work. I contacted the company and waited for them to show up three days later to investigate the problem. In the meantime, I found myself imagining that the unit was defective; I thought it might be a broken line in a wall and that the wall would need to be torn down for the line to be repaired; or that the whole system had been designed improperly. Talk about worst-case scenario.
When the repairman finally showed up, he discovered a broken seal on an outside line – a simple repair that took a couple of hours to fix. As he drove out of the driveway I thought to myself, Why didn’t I even consider an easy solution?
Generally, I’m an optimistic person. I tend to see the upside of life and am able to look for the positive opportunities in even the most challenging situations. But, the trouble with the air conditioning system made me aware of a habit of thinking that I hadn’t realized before: The tendency to expect things to be hard.
As I considered this pattern of thinking, I immediately remembered past examples. When I used to prepare my own taxes, I would ruminate about how long it would take to get them done. I imagined days of arduous labor only to have it take three or four hours. Or, when my computer contracted a virus, I expected to lose all of my files only to have my computer guy not only repair the problem, but improve the performance of my machine. When I considered present day examples, I realized that I’d been worrying for months about how difficult it would be to sell our former home once we got it on the market. My mind revolved around thoughts like, “The housing market is bad, homes aren’t moving at all and I’m sure it will take months or even years to sell ours!” Yup, I expected the worst.
While there are certainly benefits to considering worst-case scenarios – being better prepared or better able to handle setbacks, etc., stewing in a pot of negativity is not productive. When our mind is focused on all that could go wrong or how hard it will be, it’s as if we empower the very outcome we most want to avoid. If you’re about to go through a divorce, for example, and you keep worrying about how contentious or painful it will be, there’s a good chance that you’ll behave in a way that allows for that experience. If, on the other hand, you breathe through your fear and frustration and keep returning your mind to the present moment trusting that all will unfold in perfect order, you’ll have a much better chance of experiencing a smoother ride.
When we expect simple or easy solutions to life’s challenges, we set ourselves up for a more positive experience (whether it turns out to be easy or not). We show up with the right frame of mind, we focus on what works instead of what doesn’t, and put ourselves in a more open and receptive state that attracts the people or resources we need to get things handled.
My new awareness has inspired me to change my expectations and it’s working. Last week we put our house on the market after clearing it out, cleaning it up and restoring it to its original beauty. We priced it right and I placed a photo of the house with the word “SOLD!” across the top, in the wealth corner of our new home. I imagined a wonderful couple enjoying this amazing home that’s brought us so much joy over the years and guess what happened? The house sold within 12 hours for more than the asking price! No contingencies, no hassles, just an easy sale with the new buyers ready to close in a couple of weeks. Sure enough, when the paperwork was signed, I caught myself imaging the deal falling through. But, the moment it happened, I smiled and said, Cheryl, let it be easy. Then I took a deep breath and went about my day.  And so it was…
How about you? Are you ready to allow life to be easy?

Take Action Challenge

Choose one area of your life that’s been hard and make a decision right now to shift to “easy.” Create a written affirmation that reflects this new belief. Something like:
I easily transition from my current job to a new one that I love.
I enjoy the process of buying a new home with joy and ease.
I marvel at how simple the process of clearing out my garage is as I share my treasures with those in need.
Get the idea? Make easy your new standard for living this week and see what happens

 http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-40-embrace-easy-letting-go-of-hard/

Week 41 – Spontaneous Wisdom: 10/10/10 lists that make life better

Topic of the Week

Spontaneous Wisdom

As I sat down to write this week’s newsletter, I realized that today is a special day.  A special date, actually.  It’s 10/10/10.  So, inspired by these numbers, I decided to do something fun.  In an effort to help you take good care of yourself, I quickly made a list of ten things to say yes to, ten things to say no to, and ten things that contribute to a great life, overall.  I hope you find a few on the list that resonate for you!
Ten things to say yes to:

1. Green vegetables.
2. People who make you laugh.
3. A goal or dream that won’t go away.
4. Being in nature and getting fresh air.
5. Sitting in sunlight.
6. Spontaneous hugs.
7. An invitation that feels exciting and scary at the same time.
8. More rest than you think you need.
9. Moving your body.
10. An open door that feels like an act of grace.

Ten things to say no to:

1. Rushing.
2. Conversations with people who constantly drain your energy.
3. Negative thoughts.
4. The inner critic who tells you to play it safe.
5. Pushing yourself to do more when you feel tired.
6. Unhealthy guilt or shame.
7. A request that immediately causes you stress.
8. Second helpings when you feel full.
9. More work when you already have a full plate.
10. Living life from the neck up.

Ten things that contribute to a great life:

1. A pet.
2. An ability to laugh at yourself and others.
3. A home that nurtures your soul.
4. A loving partner to share the details of daily life with.
5. The good sense to back out of arguments that never go anywhere.
6. Beauty.
7. Good friends who mirror the truth with love.
8. The ability to say “I’m sorry.”
9. Becoming adept at feeling your feelings and trusting them.
10. A daily ritual of gratitude.

Take Action Challenge

This week, do your 10/10/10 list.  Do it quickly and spontaneously and notice what you learn about yourself.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-41-spontaneous-wisdom-101010-lists-that-make-life-better/

Week 42 – Vinegar and Toothpicks: Practical tips to make life better.

Topic of the Week

Vinegar and Toothpicks

For some time now I’ve wanted to share a couple of practical self-care tips that have improved my life in simple, yet important ways.  After sharing them with a few friends this weekend who were excited to give them a try, I decided to forgo the usual topics to write about toothpicks and vinegar ☺.
I’ve always been a fan of white vinegar.  We use it in our home to clean everything from countertops and windows to hardwood floors and toilets. White vinegar kills 99% of bacteria and more than 80% of mold and germs that cause viruses.  And the best part is it’s cheap and toxin-free.  It’s an earth friendly household cleaner that performs miracles.
Recently, I discovered another use for vinegar.  I poured it into my glass teapot and watched as it instantly began to eliminate the mineral buildup on the heating element.  Within no time it was sparkling clean.  Then, after seeing how well it tackled that annoying problem, I took a glass cake pan and filled it with three inches of vinegar.  I unscrewed the showerheads and the ends of the faucets in each bathroom as well as the faucet in the kitchen, and placed them all face down in the vinegar.  I left it to soak for an hour and when I returned, the hard water build up had completely vanished. Effortless and effective – gotta love that!
The next self-care tip has eliminated my need to floss.  Yes, you read that right.  A year ago, while getting my teeth cleaned, I was introduced to rubber-tipped Gum toothpicks by my dental hygienist (thanks Eldeen!).  I put some in my car, in my handbag, and in my luggage.  I used them everyday and when I showed up for my next cleaning, my teeth were in better shape than when I flossed.  They’re gentle on the gums, easy to get in between tight spaces, and so simple to use that you’re sure to clean your teeth more often.   While I know Eldeen would tell you to floss and use the toothpicks, I know you’ll definitely be able to take better care of your teeth and gums in a lot less time.
Ok, that’s my “queen of clean” advice for this week.  If you haven’t heard of one or both of these tips, I hope they make you as happy as they’ve made me ☺.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-42-vinegar-and-toothpicks-practical-tips-to-make-life-better/

Week 43 – Notice Where You Are: How to stop rushing through life

Topic of the Week

Notice Where You Are

“We must be completely present for what we are doing, without sacrificing or rushing what’s in front of us in order to get to ‘more important’ stuff later. No matter how mundane the activity, treat everything as important and take pleasure in it. At bottom, whatever we are doing right now is what we are engaged in and it deserves our full attention and appreciation.”
I read this passage in a book called, Less: Accomplishing More by Doing Less, by Marc Lesser. I had been sent the manuscript in the hopes of providing a testimonial but, at the time, I had too many books in the cue and couldn’t commit. So, I put the manuscript on top of a pile in my office and forgot about it.
One day, when I was feeling particularly frenzied, I picked up the book and went into my sunroom to have a look. I was immediately taken by the simple, elegant writing style, the obvious wisdom in the author’s experience, and the good, common sense advice.
The passage above held a clue as to why I was feeling so frenzied, and Marc’s suggestion to “treat everything as important and take pleasure in it,” made me stop and think about how I was operating in my life.
How often are you engaged in a task while focused on another activity that needs to get done? I soon discovered that I was doing it constantly. I’d be folding laundry or emptying the dishwasher, for instance, while at the same time ruminating about the number of emails that still needed a reply. Or, I’d be answering emails, while feeling distracted by a writing deadline that had to be met in short order. I was perpetually rushing through my life rather than living it. And, the tension of doing one thing while focused on the need to do another, left me feeling exhausted and irritable.
After reading more about this concept in Marc’s book, I immediately put his wisdom into action. When I was feeding my cat, Poupon, I listened with tenderness to his excited meows, felt the can in my hand, and heard the fork scrape against the bowl as I placed the food inside. If I were writing at my desk, I felt the keys under my fingers, focused my attention on the page, and allowed myself to get lost in the words. No more “body in one place, mind in another.” I was engaged in the practice of actually being present for my life. Pretty soon I did, in fact, find myself taking pleasure in the task at hand. And I actually got more done, felt energized, and became a whole lot better to be around.
Marc’s one, simple piece of advice has made a significant difference in the quality of my life, and I invite you to give it a try this week. Follow the “Take Action Challenge,” and get back to actually experiencing the joy of your life rather than rushing through it.

Take Action Challenge

This week, I encourage you to do two things:
1. Simply notice where your mind is while engaged in an activity. You might be reading emails, watching TV, listening to a friend, or working on a project at your desk. Are you present for the activity or are you thinking about something else that needs to get done? Just bring awareness to your behavior without judging it.
2. Next, gently bring your mind back to the present activity by saying something like:
“I choose to be fully engaged in this activity right now.”
Then, use your senses to ground yourself in the present moment. What do you feel with your body? What do you hear or see? What can you taste or smell?
You’ll know you’re getting it when you feel yourself slowing down, relaxing, and breathing more deeply and fully. Then, wait for the joy.  It shows up when you slow down long enough to realize that this very moment is actually the best time of your life, regardless of what you’re doing.

Week 44 – Aging Parents: How to keep the love alive

Topic of the Week

Aging Parents

In the past three weeks I’ve had numerous conversations with people who are taking care of aging parents.  Just this morning I spoke with a friend who’s been in and out of assisted living facilities, doctor’s offices, and hospitals more times than he can count.  Having been a fulltime caregiver for more than three years when my husband Michael was sick, I know how complicated and overwhelming it can be.  And my heart goes out to you if you’re dealing with this situation now.
Becoming a caregiver to a parent is something most of us will experience at some point, and learning how to do it with good self-care in place, can help keep the love alive.  While I know each situation is unique, here are a few suggestions that might help:

1. Get ongoing emotional support. As you go through the process of providing care to a parent, you will need a safe place to talk about how you feel.  You will need to vent.  You will need to grieve.  You will need to know that someone out there cares about you and wants to know what’s going on.  This person should know how to listen well, how to hold back advice when it’s not appropriate to give it, and how to be present with uncomfortable feelings so you’re free to be real and honest.
2. Find a “resource advocate.” It can be incredibly helpful to have someone in your life who’s able to conduct research.  You may have to locate specialized medical care, get help with insurance forms, check into living facilities, or find a good doctor.  Delegating these activities can help ease your burden and it can be a wonderful way to allow someone who cares about you to help when he or she feels helpless.  While taking care of Michael and managing our lives, I swear I lost brain cells, my memory, and a whole lot of patience.  Sharing the burden of information gathering made life so much easier.
3. Don’t take bad behavior personally.  If your parent is difficult, negative, or irritable, it’s probably because they’re afraid.  After all, they’re going through their own challenging life changes.  Keep in mind that we all tend to regress into protective behaviors when under stress.  Some people go into denial and lose themselves in mindless activities.  Others get irritable and end up being impatient or brusque in their communication.  Some complain nonstop about every little thing.  Try to remember that it’s not about you.  It’s about the tough situation.
4. Allow yourself to experience all of your feelings – even the “inappropriate” ones. There will be times when you experience thoughts and feelings that make you feel guilty.  You might be so emotionally overwhelmed by the roller coaster ride that comes with the end of life process, for example, that you find yourself wishing your loved one would pass so the craziness will stop.  Please remember that your feelings are just feelings – normal responses to dealing with new and complicated circumstances.  If you respect and honor these thoughts and feelings (and share them with someone safe), you’ll move through them with greater ease and clarity.  And you’ll be a better caregiver for your parent.
5. Be willing to have “courageous conversations.” Most of us don’t talk about death or end of life issues; let alone say what we need to say to feel at peace with one another.   It’s too scary, painful, or uncomfortable to step near those lines.  And it’s not always well received.  The funny thing is that bringing consciousness – intentional, open conversation – to the topic can reduce fear and open our hearts.  When we shine a light into the darkness, things get a little brighter.  Be brave enough to initiate a conversation about end of life issues and see what happens.  Tread gently and respectfully.  You might be surprised to learn that your parent has been thinking about things like estate planning or what will happen to special items once they’re gone, and your courage has now opened the door for further conversation.

Finally, be gentle with yourself.  Caring for an aging parent is such a complex, multi-faceted issue for both the caregiver and receiver.  We learn as we go.  Please feel free to use our message boards to support one another. 

Take Action Challenge

If you’re currently caring for an aging parent, I hope some of these suggestions help you this week.  If you’re not, please print this newsletter and keep it handy for future use.  You or someone you love just may need it…

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-44-aging-parents-how-to-keep-the-love-alive/

Week 46 – Economy of Thought: How to create new wealth

Topic of the Week

Economy of Thought

This week’s newsletter is a past reminder of where true wealth comes from.  I hope you enjoy it while I return from Tampa!

This morning, I sat on my deck in the sun, thinking about the day and what I would write in this week’s newsletter. After enjoying a period of silence, I picked up one of the “daily inspiration” books that I often read to start the day on the right foot. I closed my eyes, picked a page at random and instantly knew I was meant to share the passage with you.
This message is from the Universe.  Actually it’s from the book, “Notes from the Universe,” by Mike Dooley, and here’s what the pages held…

Some Investment Advice from the Universe

“Did you follow your hunches during the 90′s in the stock market? Did you hear what I was telling you about huge yields in real estate? Did you “stumble” across those itty-bitty public companies with stock offerings that made penny investors millionaires?

Phew, I was slammed doling out golden opportunities to anyone I could reach. It became kind of a hobby, you know, to fill in the gaps of boredom that go along with being the Universe.
Truthfully, though, you didn’t miss a thing. Those fortunes were chicken feed compared to what I offer on a full-time basis through my day job. Are you ready for real opportunity? Do you even have room for the returns? No, you don’t. But that’s a good problem.
Thought. That’s right. Thought is the greatest vehicle of all time for burying one’s self, family, and friends in wealth and abundance – no matter what’s going on with the economy.
Thoughts have their own economy, and now is a super-great time to get in on the ground floor. With my patented trade secrets, I can take any old invisible thought of yours and turn it into a mine of gold, a mountain of cash, a well of prosperity.
It’s not too late! The best is yet to come. Invest in thought, follow your hunches, and live the life of your dreams.
Public disclosure: This offer is irrevocable. You’re now an investor whether you know it or not. All of your thoughts will become things. No lawyers can help you.  Save yourself; choose the good ones.”
I smiled as I closed the book remembering the days when I believed the idea that “thought creates reality” was a foolish and far-fetched notion. But then I looked around at my life, felt the peace in my heart from my good thoughts, and breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness I was willing to keep an open mind.

Take Action Challenge

Good thoughts create good feelings and regardless of what happens in your life (and what happens as a result of your good thoughts), wouldn’t you rather feel good? I thought so…. keep those thoughts going up, up, up…
http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-46-economy-of-thought-how-to-create-new-wealth/

Week 47 – Inner Gratefulness: Finding more to love

Topic of the Week

Inner Gratefulness

This week we celebrate Thanksgiving – the holiday of gratitude that invites us to connect with and appreciate the abundance in our lives.  As I took a shower this morning, I thought about some of the things I feel grateful for – hot water, a window in my bathroom with a beautiful view, a cat that makes me smile every single day, and a husband who cares for me with deep and abiding love.
As I continued to shower, I considered other things to feel thankful for – inner things that often get overlooked.  I’m thankful for my commitment to personal growth, for example, the discipline that keeps me practicing good self-care, or the courage to make difficult choices in spite of the anxiety or guilt I might feel.
We all have inner qualities or ways of being that serve us (and others) and they deserve to be acknowledged and appreciated, too.  So, this week, I invite you to take a few moments to do the exercise in the Take Action Challenge below.  You’ll be so grateful you did ☺.

Take Action Challenge

This week, set aside at least 30 minutes to think about the ways in which you’ve changed. How do you approach life differently – in a way that honors you and your relationships?  What kind of commitment have you made to your own personal evolution?  What behaviors have you let go of and what new habits have you developed to keep your self-care in check?  Be grateful for these inner gifts – they are the fuel that will sustain you and carry you through your amazing life.
http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-47-inner-gratefulness-finding-more-to-love/

Week 48 – Stake Your Claim: What if it is this easy?

 

Topic of the Week

Stake Your Claim

It was a bright, sunny morning today when my friend, Nancy and I decided to go to the beach for a long walk.  We bundled up in down jackets, fleece gloves and warm hats, and set out to enjoy a low-tide adventure.
We arrived at the parking lot, walked the long boardwalk to the water and, as we reached the shoreline, I said to Nancy: “Today I affirm that I will find a sand dollar during our walk.”  I’ve been walking the beach for more than fifteen years and rarely find any – maybe four in all the time I’ve been here.  Nancy smiled and acknowledged my affirmation and we continued on our way.
A little later, I came upon a big seashell nestled in the sand.  I picked it up, brushed it off, and admired its beauty.  I thanked Mother Nature for the gift and kept walking.  Every now and then I thought about the sand dollar, eyes focused on the ground before me, but I had no attachment to finding one. Instead I held the intention gently in mind.
Thirty minutes into our journey, I came across a piece of a sand dollar and realized that in the past I would have been disappointed to find a broken one, feeling as though I got close but not close enough.  This time my first thought was, “Great – halfway there.  A whole one must be coming up soon!”
Sure enough, one hour later, on our way back, I found a pretty white sand dollar lying a few feet from the shore.  Nancy and I looked at each other with excitement, gave each other a high-five, and I immediately said, “OK, now I’m going to affirm another one for you.”
Ten minutes later, as we came to the end of our walk, I looked down to find a sand dollar sticking out of a small sandbar.  I reached down, expecting to find it broken, but instead pulled out a beautiful, intact sand dollar for Nancy.  She looked at me with amazement as we climbed the hill toward the boardwalk.  In that moment, I turned to her and said,  “What if it really is that easy?  What if we do have the power to affirm what we want and then draw it into our lives?”
And that’s the thought I invite you to consider this week.  What if it really is that easy?

Take Action Challenge

This week, let’s play a little game.  Choose some small thing you’d like to bring into your life, affirm it out loud to someone, and hold it loosely in mind.  Think about it from time to time, but don’t be attached to having it happen.  Just let it gently find its way into your life.  Then, if you feel so inclined, share your experience

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-48-stake-your-claim-what-if-it-is-this-easy/

Week 49 – Purposeful Problems – Release the drama of the details

Topic of the Week

Purposeful Problems

“Bad times have a scientific value.  These are occasions a good learner would not miss.”    
–Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love the above quote and today, as I was searching for a newsletter to rerun this week while I travel back from LA, I came across this one.  It’s about what I learned from encountering problems while finishing up the building of our home.  So, think about something that’s challenging you right now, sit back and get ready for a new perspective…
After hitting a stumbling block while getting ready to move into our new home, I had a chance to see how my approach to dealing with problems has changed dramatically over the course of the building process.  When the carpet installers began laying carpet, they discovered that the color of one large piece of rug was completely different than the rest.  I learned about the problem from the installer when we first met in the driveway.  His introduction was exactly what you don’t want to hear when moving in two weeks:  “Hi Cheryl, nice to meet you. Boy do we have a big problem here!”
Now, I’ve learned a thing or two about problems.  First, very few are life threatening.  Very few.  Yes, a problem may cause a setback, hurt feelings, enormous amounts of frustration and stress, or feelings that are so overwhelming that it makes the situation appear insurmountable, but in the larger scheme of life, if you handle them right, they rarely cause irreparable damage.  This little bit of wisdom always reminds me to step back, breathe, and engage my sense of humor.  I actually chuckled to myself when the carpet installer gave me the bad news.
Second, I’ve learned that where “things” are concerned, I’m better off spending my time and energy on the solution rather than rehashing the specifics of what happened.  Too often we get caught up in the drama of the details.  For example, I don’t need to debate how the carpet got damaged or why they delivered it to us in such poor shape.  It is what it is.   The carpet is defective and needs to be replaced.  Once you shift your attention to what has to happen next to get the job done, you’ll feel more empowered.  And believe me, that’s a good thing for everyone involved ☺.
Finally, the most important lesson of all has to do with finding the power in the problem – an opportunity for growth.  When Michael and I decided to build a home, we heard everything from, “You must be out of your mind,” to “Build a house, lose a spouse.”  One person, however, had a very different perspective.  My friend Kelly said, “This could be an amazing opportunity for personal and spiritual growth.”  Little did I know how right Kelly would turn out to be.  Our decision to take on such a big, soul-inspired project would challenge us in ways we never could have imagined.  And, we’ve grown a lot both individually and together as a result.
If you’re faced with a problem right now, remember this:  There’s gold hiding somewhere and it has to do with the growth of your soul. Building our home has given me this gift.  Every problem carries a possibility for us to become better people – great listeners, more compassionate, resourceful, or decisive, for example.  Surrender to the gift and let it lead you to an even better life!

Take Action Challenge

This week, when faced with a problem, use this simple recipe:
1.  Stop!  Take a step back and enjoy a deep breath.  Remind yourself that your sanity and character are far more important than the situation at hand.  Rant and rave if need be, stomp your feet, or vent to someone who cares, but do so for only five minutes.  Then, move on to #2…
2.  Ask yourself “What needs to happen to straighten this situation out with the least amount of damage to anyone?”  If you’re not sure of the answer, ask for feedback or ideas from others (even those not involved).  Then, stay focused on dealing with the solution rather than the symptoms of the problem.  What can you change?
3.  Finally, look for the gold.  What are you being challenged to learn or practice.  Does your current problem require you to use a whole new level of creativity?  Are you being given a chance to practice patience?  Is there an opportunity for you to care more about people than getting the job done?  How is this problem providing you with the perfect opportunity for the evolution of your soul?

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-49-purposeful-problems-release-the-drama-of-the-details/

Week 50 – Really Good Self Care: Holiday wisdom from friends

 

Topic of the Week

Really Good Self Care

Last week I asked my Facebook community to tell us how they take really, really good care of themselves during the holidays. I thought I’d share some of their ideas with you.  We have such wonderful people with wise advice.  Check it out…
I play in the snow with my children!
The one thing I absolutely love to do for myself is to sit quietly at night by the lit tree for a short while and breathe in the smell of pine. I take time to be grateful for everything, including the beauty of the season. There is nothing quite like those moments of total peace.
I listen to Christmas music as much as I can.
This year I put my Christmas tree on a revolving stand and I am getting a big kick out of it.
The best way I take care of myself is to show kindness to people who are need of a little kindness – shut-ins, shelters – especially women and children. I like being an anonymous elf to those who feel forgotten-that is what Christmas is really about to me. These things bring me joy!!
EVERY year (since my divorce) I buy myself a Christmas present FIRST.
Hire a cleaning lady – it’s the best self care, besides a facial!
A couple of years ago I got honest with people in my life and told them I wouldn’t be sending cards or buying gifts any longer and that I didn’t expect them to do so for me. Instead I asked that we ‘keep the season in our hearts’ all year and use the time, money, and stress we’d have put into cards and gifts to stay in touch with little dinners, favors, and surprises throughout the year.
My friend and I take one day that we spend with our children and with two kids that she got to know through a camp for severely abused children and we make cutout sugar cookies and then decorate them with frosting and sprinkles.  We just have a blast! Then we send home a big package of the decorated cookies with them to have for the holidays! And they absolutely love it and now ask, “When is our cookie day” each year because they remember how much fun it is!
I go to the ocean, find 3 pieces of driftwood, write the things I would like to let go of (judgment, fear, sadness, etc.) on the wood, thank them for having made me who I am, and toss them into the ocean to be carried away. Then spend some time on the beach imagining what I want for the coming year.
Holidays are holy days of love, light and hope. I make a point of smiling at everyone I see and sending thoughts of good will. Keeps me connected to the spirit.
Each time I stand in line to make a purchase I look at each other person in line and Namaste them, then I pray and give thanks for each cashier. It turns the bothersome task of waiting in line into an opportunity to reorient my vantage point.
I take an afternoon off and go watch a movie all by myself. I don’t have to worry about anyone or having to share the popcorn. Believe it or not I always get a divine message.
Simplify, simplify, simplify!! I cut out EVERY thing that is not necessary. If I’m not hosting Xmas, I do minimal decorating. Bake ONE kind of cookie, instead of 10. I say no to things. I also will suggest we “get together” in January instead of trying to cram everything into December.
In the spirit of Christmas and the New Year, I will reflect on something new that I would like to birth this year.

~*~

Ready to make your holidays even better?  Take our challenge below (and watch the video that reinforces this message – men and women alike!).

Take Action Challenge

This week, choose one holiday self care strategy from above and put it into practice.

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-50-really-good-self-care-holiday-wisdom-from-friends/

Week 51 – Happy Holidays: Wishes for a great end to 2010

Topic of the Week

Happy Holidays

As we head into the last days of 2010, I wanted to wish each and every one of you a joyful holiday filled with rest, relaxation, and meaningful experiences.  To support you in creating a beautiful end to 2010, I wanted to remind you of four wishes that will help you to make the most of this special time of year:
May you create the space for spontaneous joy.  Some of my most memorable holiday experiences occurred during a period of down time when I gave myself the gift of an unscheduled hour, afternoon, or evening to simply do whatever I wanted to do in the moment.  I still remember the day I walked around a shopping mall without any agenda except to take in the sights and sounds of Christmas, and ran into my childhood best friend.  We sat and enjoyed a cup of tea together and reminisced about our days of being a kid.  It was an afternoon I’ll never forget.
May you become an expert at receiving help.  Over the next several days, when you catch yourself saying things like, “No thanks, I can do these dishes myself,” or, “That’s okay, I don’t need any help with gift wrapping,” or “Yes, I know you have an idea for how to make my life easier, but I’ve always done it this way,” stop, take a deep breath, and listen.  Then, say something like, “Yes, I’d love help with the dishes,” or “Of course you can wrap these gifts with me,” and “Thank you for caring, tell me more.” One of the greatest gifts we give to others is our willingness to let them give to us.
May you become masterful at being lazy.  Now, if after reading the last line you thought, “I couldn’t possibly do that, I don’t have time,” then I am definitely talking to you.  Over the next ten days do something to relax your body and rest your mind.  For example, sleep an hour or two longer than you normally would, hang out in front of the television watching movies all afternoon, or let the dishes sit on the table long after the holiday meal is over so you can enjoy talking with your guests.  After all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, you’ve earned the right to let a few things go so you can rest and relax.
May you be a risk-taker for love.  During the holidays many of us spend time with family and friends.  This year take some kind of risk to bring you closer to the loved ones that matter most.  For example, say, “I love you” to someone you haven’t said it to before.  Ask Aunt Mary to tell you what it’s like to be eighty years old.  Take the time to find out whether your grown children are content with their jobs, their marriages, or their dreams.  Worry less about what others might think and more about how they feel so you can experience the power of love.
If you allow yourself to indulge these four simple wishes, you’ll be sure to not only enjoy this holiday season, you’ll set yourself up to start the New Year with less stress, more rest, and a rich and grateful heart!
Happy, Happy Holidays to you!

http://www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletters/week-51-happy-holidays-wishes-for-a-great-end-to-2010/

Week 52 – You Time: Goodbye to 2010!

 

Topic of the Week

You Time

Here we are at the end of 2010 and I hope your last week is just what you want it to be.  I’ve been doing my best to heal from a bad cold, so I’ll keep this newsletter brief. 
Even though I’ve been sick, I decided I would do my best to still enjoy the holidays.  I’ve spent time with family and friends (at a distance ), slept a whole lot, found a great new tea (Yogi’s Seven-Berry Antioxidant tea is terrific) and finally introduced myself to the TV sensation, Glee, after receiving the season one DVDs as a gift (thank you, thank you!).  Wow, now I know what all the excitement is about.  I was hooked within the first fifteen minutes of show number one and have already watched five more.  What talent!
This is the time of year when the world quiets down a bit and we get the space to do some of the things we’ve wanted to do.  I hope you give yourself that gift.  Sleep more if your body needs rest, focus your energy on relaxing rather than getting things done, spend time with people who make you laugh, or find your own new source of joy. 
A new beginning is just around the corner, but let’s allow the ending to have its day.  Say goodbye to 2010 by saying hello to “you time.”
See you next year!